The Most Proven Technique For Increasing Long Term Happiness

Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep.Write down three things that went well today and why they went well.

You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be earthshaking in importance (“My husband picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today”), but they can be important (“My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy”).

Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?”

For example, if you wrote that your husband picked up ice cream, write “because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes” or “because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store.” Or if you wrote, “My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy,” you might pick as the cause “God was looking out for her” or “She did everything right during her pregnancy.”

Writing about why the positive events in your life happened may seem awkward at first, but please stick with it for one week. It will get easier. The odds are that you will be less depressed, happier, and addicted to this exercise six months from now.

Found here http://time.com/3709747/increasing-long-term-happiness/

Fulfill your dreams in 2014

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The Conscious Lifestyle: Short-Term Desires (Part 2)

The following article and its first part have been written by one of the most inspired and inspirational people: Dr. Deepak Chopra. I read the article and resolved I needed to share it with you.

I therefore integrally report the article as it has been issued by the author, as it inspired me.

- * - * -

We've been discussing the obstacles to living a conscious lifestyle by focusing on the torrent of small things that will fill your day unless you consciously free yourself. The future unfolds one day at a time, so unless you make time for the future before it arrives, a year from now you will be doing basically the same as what you're doing today.

Making time for the future comes down to five steps. Let me repeat them since they lay the groundwork for fulfilling long-range goals.

1. Write down a single vision, project, or mission.
2. Set time aside to work on it every day.
3. Work consists of doing research, making connections, investigating your target audience or market, learning from projects similar to yours, challenging your assumptions, writing a proposal, seeking a mentor, partner, or confidant to bounce your ideas off, and raising capital if needed.
4. Set interim deadlines that you can reasonably meet every month.
5. Be adaptable about changing your project as it unfolds.

As you see, some real commitment is involved. It's important therefore to think about what your vision or mission should be. Let me propose an idea that runs counter to a certain school of thought. That school focuses on the pursuit of excellence, climbing from "good to great," or adopting the habits of highly successful achievers. In other words, you are urged to concentrate on external goals and the means to achieve them.

In my experience teaching high achievers in business school courses, the one thing they point to as the cause of their achievement is luck. They look back and realize that they were in the right place at the right time. A vision that can only succeed on the basis of luck only works for the tiniest sliver of the work force. Behind every CEO who makes the cover of Fortune magazine there is a trail of frustration littered with everyone who didn't make it to the top. Luck is the exact opposite of consciousness.

The most fulfilled people in any profession, regardless of who climbs to the top, are those who followed an inner vision. They consciously shaped their futures from the inside, which is the only place you have any real control.  A large percentage of these people had highly successful careers, but that was secondary. First and foremost came the freedom to write their own scenario. The externals of your life fall in line with your internal values and the atmosphere you create around yourself.

So when you sit down to write your long-range vision or mission, consider these criteria.

1.  I will be satisfied with the work at every stage.
2.  I will benefit everyone around me.
3.  The effect on my family will be positive.
4.  I will feel creative.
5.  I will take pride in my accomplishment.
6.  I will be smarter, better, and wiser the more I pursue my vision.
7.  I will head into the unknown, a place I want to discover and explore.

Every vision brings setbacks and frustrations; there is inherent stress whenever you step out to accomplish something no one else has tried before.  No amount of self-discipline can control the stress. Only if you are centered, self-confident, and secure in the values you are sacrificing for will the journey become conscious.

In the current environment, inner visions are celebrated only after someone has struggled to reach the top. Along the way, there is more competition than collaboration, and if you don't enter the dog-eat-dog fray, people will call you weak.  We live in the midst of huge abundance.  Ruthless, soul-killing tactics are rewarded, but so is moving upward through consciousness. Sit down with yourself, your family, your closest confidants, and work through the seven criteria I've outlined. They will serve you well if you truly dedicate yourself to inner fulfillment ahead of material rewards.

Written by

Deepak Chopra, MD is the author of more than 65 books with numerous New York Times bestsellers and co-author with Rudolph Tanzi of Super Brain: Unleashing the Explosive Power of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness, and Spiritual Well-being. (Harmony)

Found here
The Conscious Lifestyle: Short-Term Desires (Part 2) | LinkedIn

The Conscious Lifestyle: Short-Term Desires (Part 1)

Deepak Chopra

The following article and its second part have been written by one of the most inspired and inspirational people: Dr. Deepak Chopra.
I read the article and resolved I needed to share it with you.
I therefore integrally report the article as it has been issued by the author, as it inspired me.

- * - * -

To fashion a conscious life for yourself, you must address the unconscious way that most people spend their days.  Activity automatically fills the time you devote to it.  Unconscious living is the same as having constricted awareness.  Conscious living is a process of expanding your mind instead.  This may sound a bit lofty, but in reality you can make great progress by examining how you fill your day, as we've seen in the last few posts.

We started out with three activities that are universally used to fill time:
1. Following a set routine
2. Coping with challenges as they come up
3. Fulfilling short-term desire.

The first two have been covered in some detail, so now let's address the third.

In everyone's life short-term desires compete with long-term desires, and whoever finds the right balance will reap the greatest success.  If you focus too much on short-term gratification, the following things become too important: eating, drinking, running errands, keeping everything neat and tidy, micro-managing others, perfectionism, gossip, and trivial distractions.  Experts in time management point out that all of these are inefficient and wasteful, which is certainly true.

But the larger point is that none of these activities challenges your mind. They require a short attention span, and in place of long-term gratification, you are settling for tiny hits of pleasure.  A stream of short-term gratification is like eating a candy bar every half hour instead of cooking and enjoying a banquet.

Long-term desires are emotionally more mature, because they delay gratification in the service of a bigger reward.  People realize this, which is why they plan for their retirement. Years of hard work lead to a payoff down the road. But too often those years are not gratifying. They are more like putting in your time at the salt mines. The trick is to derive the right kind of short-term fulfillment.  The right kind isn't hard to define. It consists of what you do today to make next year better.

Think of it like writing a book. If you write a page every day, your manuscript will be done next year. A page doesn't sound like much, but the catch is that it must fit into the final product. Ernest Hemingway set himself a daily goal of half a page only.  If you can do anything today that consciously goes toward fulfilling a long-range vision, plan, project, or mission, you will become the Hemingway of your own life.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Set down a single vision, project, or mission.
2. Set time aside to work on it every day.
3. Work consists of doing research, making connections, investigating your target audience or market, learning from projects similar to yours, challenging your assumptions, writing a proposal, seeking a mentor, partner, or confidant to bounce your ideas off, and raising capital if needed.
4. Set interim deadlines that you can reasonably meet every month.
5. Be adaptable about changing your project as it unfolds.

Each of these steps should be interesting and, one hopes, exciting to you.  Consciousness expands whenever a person feels creative, passionate, and joyful.  If you don't have these qualities, you won’t wake up every morning eager to fulfill your long-range goal.  The value of following the five steps I've suggested is that you become action oriented; your goal doesn't drift or become an empty dream.

In the next post we'll discuss the most productive and valuable long-range goals. Hint: they begin on the inside and work outward.

(To be cont.)

written by

Deepak Chopra, MD is the author of more than 65 books with numerous New York Times bestsellers and co-author with Rudolph Tanzi of Super Brain: Unleashing the Explosive Power of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness, and Spiritual Well-being. (Harmony)

Found here
The Conscious Lifestyle: Short-Term Desires | LinkedIn

Effective Ways To Get Out of a Negative Mindset

It is too easy to get into a negative mindset which invariably leads to unhappiness and depression. To avoid being overwhelmed by negativity we need to make a conscious effort to avoid the experience. When life seems like a perpetual dark tunnel these are some suggestions to change your outlook on life.

Don’t Cherish Destructive Thoughts.

Often we don’t realise how much we subconsciously cherish negative thoughts. It may seem counter intuitive, but often a negative frame of mind occurs because we won’t let go of the negative thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the mind clings on to these thoughts with a feeling of self pity or injured pride. We don’t like the negative frame of mind, but at the same time are we consciously trying to overcome it? The problem is that if the negative thoughts go round and round in our mind they can become powerful and we lose a sense of perspective. Just make a conscious decision to ignore the negative flow of thoughts and sentiments and be persistent in these attempts.

Do You want to be Happy or Miserable?

We should feel a negative mindset is a choice. If we feel a victim to our own emotions and thoughts, nobody else will be able to help us. We should feel that by holding on to a negative frame of mind, we are inevitably choosing to be unhappy; each negative is a conscious decision to be miserable. If we really value the importance of our own inner peace and happiness, we will aspire to cultivate this through good, uplifting thoughts. Next time you feel the onset of a depressed state of mind, just ask yourself the question: Do I want to be happy or Miserable?

Spend Time With Positive People

The best antidote to negativity is simply to spend time doing positive, uplifting activities. Sometimes if we analyse and examine our own negativity it does nothing to reduce it. By engaging in useful fun activities, we forget about the reasons for our negativity; this is often the most powerful way to overcome a depressed state of mind.

Don’t Accept Negativity from Other People

We live in a world where there are no shortage of pessimists, critics and doomongers. There will always be people who can find the negative in life; but, there is no reason why we have to ascribe to their world view. For example, often in an office environment there is a negative attitude to the workplace, but, even if there are faults and limitations we don’t have to allow them to make us a negative person.

Let Go of Thoughts

If you can learn to control your thoughts, you can control the experience and emotions of life. The best antidote to negativity is learning the art of meditation. Meditation is more than just relaxation; it is a change in consciousness. We move from the limited perspective of our mind and discover an inner source of happiness.

Live in the Heart

The nature of the mind is to be suspicious and critical. If someone does 99 good things and 1 bad thing, the mind will invariably remember the bad thing. If we allow ourselves to be drawn into highlighting the mistakes of others we will invite a negative mindset. However, if we live in the heart we are not drawn to the faults of others (even if they are insignificant). It is in the heart that we can have a true sense of oneness with others, their faults seem insignificance and we can feel a sense of identity with the achievements of others.

Don’t Sit Around Doing Nothing

The worst thing for a negative frame of mind is to mope around feeling sorry for ourselves. Ruminating on our bad luck / worries / fears will not diminish them in any way. Exercise can be a powerful way to bring about a new consciousness. Negativity is often associated with boredom and lack of purpose. Stop endlessly checking emails and surfing web, look for something good to do.

Force Yourself to Think of 3 Positive Thoughts.

If you are feeling really miserable and have a low sense of self esteem, try thinking of 3 good things that you have done. At time our own mind can be our worst enemy and very self critical. It is important not to lose a sense of balance; for the various bad things we have done, we have also done some good things.

Don’t Think Anything You Wouldn’t Say in Front of People

We often think things we would never say in front of people. If you are annoyed, disappointed with someone else, imagine what you would say to them in person. Sometimes when we are with people we are forced to behave; even if we are not particularly sincere the effort to avoid negativity can help us to overcome our bad mood.

Found here
Effective Ways To Get Out of a Negative Mindset | Sri Chinmoy Inspiration

How to Be Happier at Work

Sometimes the route to happiness depends more on what you don't do.

 

Happiness--in your business life and your personal life--is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.

Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:

1. Blaming.

People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.

So you blame them for your problems.

But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. Impressing.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you.

Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

3. Clinging.

When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you.

An absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.

Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

4. Interrupting.

Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say."

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.

They'll love you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.

5. Whining.

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.

If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.

Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on.

Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Controlling.

Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog.

Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.

And all of you will be happier.

7. Criticizing.

Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.

That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else--including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.

8. Preaching.

Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

9. Dwelling.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

10. Fearing.

We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.

So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.

And so do our dreams.

Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today.

If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.

Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.

Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

Found here

How to Be Happier at Work: 10 Tips | Inc.com

The Art of Deep Breathing: A Sanity-Saving Strategy

Have you ever had one of those days where you were so stressed that you felt like you could use some help to save your sanity? If so, you’ll be happy to discover a strategy you can use to reduce stress and improve your health at the same time. This strategy is easy and convenient, and it’s called deep breathing.

One response to stress is shallow breathing.  This type of breathing is not the best way to draw air into the body, since you are mostly filling the upper part of your lungs. On the other hand diaphragmatic or deep breathing fills the lungs with life-giving oxygen. This type of breathing fills the lungs to their capacity. Here is a deep breathing exercise. While lying on your back or sitting in a chair, place your hands on your abdomen near your naval. Take deep breaths, feeling the rise and fall of your abdominal area. Taking a few deep breaths will not only oxygenate your body but also will help improve circulation, decrease anxiety and increase alertness.

We automatically breathe without thinking about it too much, unless a medical condition affecting breathing is present.  The moment we bring breathing into awareness, we begin to control how we breathe. The beauty is that it doesn’t cost you anything to breathe. But when is it appropriate to do breathing exercises? And how often can they be done?

When To Do Deep Breathing Exercises

There are no hard and fast rules stipulating when to do breathing exercises. It really depends on what you’re wishing to achieve by doing them.

You can use breathing exercises at any time to:

• Achieve a state of calm
• Feel alive, invigorated, and ready for your day
• Reduce stress in tense situations
• Wind down at the end of the day

When you wake up in the morning, you may wish to do some quick deep breathing exercises to feel invigorated and ready to go. You can go outside, take a deep breath, and then breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth.

This breathing exercise can serve as a workout for your abdominal muscles and lungs. It can make you feel quite refreshed at the beginning of your day and provides a similar effect to taking a morning jog.

When you’re having a rough day at work or dealing with conflict, you can use a few calming breaths to help reduce stress. Sit back, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Hold it in and then let it out. Repeat the process until you feel relaxed.

Health Benefits of Breathing Exercises

If you just need a quick lift, then you’ll only need to spend a short time here and there doing some deep breathing exercises. On the other hand, if you’re looking to have a significant impact on your health and serenity, you can form a routine of several breathing exercises throughout your day.

 

Whatever the duration, breathing exercises may bring you many health benefits, including:

• Reduce your blood pressure
• Calm your nerves
• Tighten your core muscles
• Aid in better digestion
• Aid in the elimination of waste and toxins
• Bring you higher levels of energy
• Increase your awareness of the functions within your body
• Reduce stress

Your own results will depend upon the type and frequency of breathing exercises you use.

Anyone Can Benefit From Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises can benefit virtually anyone. The only individuals who should take extreme caution are those with respiratory issues. Always check with your physician before attempting these exercises.

Nevertheless, sit back, close your eyes, and enjoy the relaxing effects that deep breathing can provide. It’s an effective solution to reduce stress, bring you peace, and improve your life.

Found here

www.thestressreliefprogram.com/art-deep-breathing-sanitysaving-strategy/

Love Will Heal Your Life: Enrich Each Moment

We are all connected in that space of my heart. A love that is ever connected, ever free and whole hearted. How we infuse each moment with love life is ever renewing and unfolding beautifully. There is no greater joy than to know where you have come from and to recognize how far you’ve grown relaxing into the truth and the power of who you are.  

To be afforded insight into the human heart, to be able to bare witness to the light bulb moments, reconnecting and resurrecting parts of yourself that have long lay dormant, detoxing from whatever weighs you down, is intense. Do not be alarmed. Give yourself the space. Surrender your defenses and open your heart. It is okay. You are not alone. You are not alone in your feelings, You are not alone in your joy, you are connected to everything that is or ever was.

Resolve to release any story of the past in the present moment. that doesn’t thrill and create a new one. Head into the world, open your eyes and try something new. Whatever it takes. Experiment with a different way of being. Right now. Every time you do, the mind is expanded, new worlds open up and your intuition gets to frolic. Enrich your life love. Watch wonder and curiosity blossom.

May your soul be full of joy and your life ignite in ways you never dreamed possible.

Love Will Heal Your Life: Experience The Joy Of Yes

There is a deep inner power that resides within. When you say YES to your still small voice and live in the spontaneity of expression where judgments fall away and you are in harmony with the present. IN this breath of presence, let your heart BEAT to the rhythm of Love. Allow love to flow through you igniting your heart song.

John Welwood describes this so perfectly there is nothing to do but share “the words “I Love You” spoken in moments of genuine appreciation, wonder or caring arise from something perfectly pure within us — the capacity to open ourselves and say yes without reserve. Such moments of pure openheartedness bring us as close to natural perfection as we come in this life. The radiant yes of the heart is perfect like the sun in bringing all things to life nourishing all that is truly human.”

Allow the flame of your truest self to burst ever higher. Let today represent a deepening of the Divine Loving experience, an opportunity to cleanse the past and an embracing of a new loving, powerful, radiant being.

Say YES with all your heart.

Take today to live life to its fullest, basking in the sunshine of a delightful day!

Love Will Heal Your Life: Be Happy With What You Have

Life is what you make it. As someone said quite beautifully the happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

God bless each moment. God bless your neighborhood. God bless your family. God bless everyone. Seriously. God bless everyone.

Feel the shift and be present enjoying the happiness of this moment. When you are ready to complain about some circumstance or point a finger and feel bad. Be grateful for all of it. No matter what. Be grateful!

Stop and live in full appreciation for EVERYTHING and bless everything.

Be grateful for how much power and strength lie on the other side of beliefs. Let your faith take root and remember with infinite love and gratitude for what is, you have the possibility of shifting the only thing you can. Your perception.

As Ekhart Tolle says make friends with the present. Happiness lives there. How this is true for each of us becomes the happiness of the days of our lives.

You don’t need to be a wise man to get the saying it matters not what happens to us it is always our perception that needs tending. Be happy with what you have. May the best of the past be the worst of your tomorrows!

May your soul be full of joy and your heart leap and spark at the sheer thrill of discovery in happiness with what is.

Your Power for Unlimited Success & Abundance - Have a Magnificent Day!

Dawn of Your Dreams

God or the Universe does not make mistakes.

There are no accidents or coincidences.

This is the way it is.

Everything in your life has led up to this moment and these exact circumstances.

As they say in the game of poker, this is the hand you were dealt and this is the hand you have to play out. It is totally up to you.

Based on your thoughts, beliefs, words and actions you create your reality.

The outcome is totally dependent on you!

YOU make all the difference in the world.

Whatever you focus your attention on is where your energy goes.

This is the Law of Focused Attention or The Law of Attraction.

You have free will and freedom of choice so you determine the outcome.

So, be clear that everything in your life depends on you.

You are the cause and source of everything that you create.

It starts with your inner reality, your inner game.

You can focus your thoughts, energy and resources on what you want in a positive direction.

Or you can focus on the negative…..on fear……on most of the things you hear people talk about.

Most of the topics in the news, on the Internet, TV, radio, etc are fear-based and negative.

Sad that drama, trauma and scandal is more interesting than the wonderful things in life.

Your most important choice is where are you going to focus your attention.

POSITIVE or negative, FREEDOM or fear, ABUNDANCE or lack, OPPORTUNITY or limitation?

Because whatever you believe is what is. Whatever you choose is your reality.

This is the Power of Acknowledgement.

Complaining is just a waste of time and energy.

Wise people do not pay attention to this. They do not spend time wSave as Draftith negative people.

They create positive environments, they look for opportunities, they create solutions, they create positive results. They make things happen.

It takes much more effort, courage, determination and persistence to think creatively and to follow your own path. It is much easier to let things be the way they are and not create what you want and follow your dreams. Creators and achievers use their energy to think differently, to trust their intuition and inspirations.

What are you going to do now?

Successful people create rather than compete.

When they are told that they can’t do something, then that is exactly what they must do.

They have an overwhelmingly positive and triumphant belief that anything is possible.

They do what it takes to succeed.

You can do all of these wonderful things and not violate the rights of others.

You can follow proper principles and create magnificent results.

Be clear that temptation will present short cuts and the ego will attempt to manipulate you.

How you conduct yourself and how you achieve your results are even more important than the results your achieve. So choose wisely. Once you say something or do something it cannot be taken back. Make sure your efforts are for your highest possibilities and for the good of all concerned.

This time in history offers you the greatest opportunities that we have seen since the Great Depression.

Make it count……seize the day……..seize the moment.

Turn your dreams into reality.

I found this inspiring article here:

Your Power for Unlimited Success & Abundance - Have a Magnificent Day!

RULES FOR A PERFECT DAY

1.     Just for today, I will try to live through this day only -- and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a life-time.
2.     Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that. "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within -- it is not a matter of externals.
3.     Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
4.     Just -for today, I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it and not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.
5.     Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will.read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
6.     Just for today, I will.exercise my soul in three ways, to wit: (1) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. (2) I will do at least two things I don't want to do, just for exercise of will-power. (3) I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
7.     Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, and criticize not one bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
8.     Just for today, I will have a program. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I'll have it as a pattern to follow. It will save me from the two pests - HURRY and INDECISION.
9.     Just for today, I will have a quiet half-hour, all by myself, and relax. In this half-hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.
10.     Just for today, I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love, love me.

Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect

Perfect is the enemy of good.

Many of us are perfectionists in our own right.  I know I am at times.  We set high bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward.  We dedicate copious amounts of time and attention to our work to maintain our high personal standards.  Our passion for excellence drives us to run the extra mile, never stopping, never relenting.  And this dedication towards perfection undoubtedly helps us to achieve results…  So long as we don’t get carried away.

But what happens when we do get carried away with perfectionism?

We become disgruntled and discouraged when we fail to meet the (impossibly high) standards we set for ourselves, making us reluctant to take on new challenges or even finish tasks we’ve already started.  Our insistence on dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’ breeds inefficiency, causing major delays, stress overload and subpar results.

True perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them… always.  I have a friend who has wanted to start a graphic design business for several years.  But she hasn’t yet.  Why?  When you sift through her extensive list of excuses it comes down to one simple problem:  She is a perfectionist.  Which means she doesn’t, and never will, think she’s good enough at graphic design to own and operate her own graphic design business.

Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.  And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.  Only by wading through years of practice and imperfection can we begin to achieve momentary glimpses of the perfection.

So make a decision.  Take action.  Learn from the outcome.  And repeat this method over and over and over again in all walks of life.  Also, check out Too Perfect.  It’s an excellent read on conquering perfectionism.

Stop caring about what everyone else wants for you

Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will usually give you awful advice.  It’s not because they have evil intentions.  It’s because they don’t understand the big picture – what your dreams, passions and life goals mean to you.  They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.

So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.

As our friend Steve Jobs says:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”

Stop caring about looking a certain way

There is no right way to dress or right way to wear your hair.  No, I’m not saying to you should dress like a clown simply to rebel either.  Everyone who purposely tries to look different ends up looking the same.

Be you, just the way you are, in the unique way only you know how.  Wear clothes and styles you feel comfortable wearing.  Dress the way YOU dress.

You’re a one of a kind.  Trying to look like someone else is a waste of your own beauty.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.

Complainers in the Office: 3 Ways to Deal With Them

Exposure to nonstop negativity actually impairs brain function. Here's how to defend yourself.

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Do you hate it when people complain? It turns out there's a good reason: Listening to too much complaining is bad for your brain in multiple ways, according to Trevor Blake, a serial entrepreneur and author of Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life. In the book, he describes how neuroscientists have learned to measure brain activity when faced with various stimuli, including a long gripe session.

"The brain works more like a muscle than we thought," Blake says. "So if you're pinned in a corner for too long listening to someone being negative, you're more likely to behave that way as well."

Even worse, being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb. Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity--including viewing such material on TV--actually peels away neurons in the brain's hippocampus. "That's the part of your brain you need for problem solving," he says. "Basically, it turns your brain to mush."

But if you're running a company, don't you need to hear about anything that may have gone wrong? "There's a big difference between bringing your attention to something that's awry and a complaint," Blake says. "Typically, people who are complaining don't want a solution; they just want you to join in the indignity of the whole thing. You can almost hear brains clink when six people get together and start saying, 'Isn't it terrible?' This will damage your brain even if you're just passively listening. And if you try to change their behavior, you'll become the target of the complaint."

So, how do you defend yourself and your brain from all the negativity? Blake recommends the following tactics:

1. Get some distance

"My father was a chain smoker," Blake confides. "I tried to change his habit, but it's not easy to do that." Blake knew secondhand smoke could damage his own lungs as well. "My only recourse was to distance myself."

You should look at complaining the same way, he says. "The approach I've always taken with complaining is to think of it as the same as passive smoking." Your brain will thank you if you get yourself away from the complainer, if you can.

2. Ask the complainer to fix the problem

Sometimes getting distance isn't an option. If you can't easily walk away, a second strategy is to ask the complainer to fix the problem.

"Try to get the person who's complaining to take responsibility for a solution," Blake says. "I typically respond to a complaint with, 'What are you going to do about it?'" Many complainers walk away huffily at that point, because he hasn't given them what they wanted, Blake reports. But some may actually try to solve the problem.

3. Shields up!

When you're trapped listening to a complaint, you can use mental techniques to block out the griping and save your neurons. Blake favors one used by the late Spanish golfer Seve Ballesteros during a match against Jack Nicklaus--a match the crowd wanted Ballesteros to lose. "He was having difficulty handling the hostility of the crowd," Blake says. "So he imagined a bell jar that no one could see descending from the sky to protect him."

Major League Baseball pitchers can sometimes be seen mouthing "Shields on!" as they stride to the mound, he says. He adds that his own imaginary defense is "more like a Harry Potter invisibility cloak."

A related strategy is to mentally retreat to your imagined favorite spot, someplace you'd go if you could wave a magic wand. "For me, it was a ribbon of beautiful white sugary sand that extended out in a horseshoe shape from a private island," Blake says. "I would take myself to my private retreat while people were ranting and raving. I could smile at them and nod in all the right places and meanwhile take myself for a walk on my private beach."

Blake first saw the picture of the island in a magazine, and the image stuck with him. Eventually, he got a chance to try it for real. "It turned out the island was for rent, and it was the same one I'd seen," he says. "So I rented it for a week. And I got to take that walk."

Source:
Complainers in the Office: 3 Ways to Deal With Them | Inc.com

10 Life-Enhancing Things You Can Do in Ten Minutes or Less

by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D

It usually takes us much longer to change our moods than we’d like it to take. Here are ten things you can do in ten minutes or less that will have a positive emotional effect on you and those you love.

1.    Watch "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. See it online at Oprah.com. This is a deeply moving segment that may be the best ten minutes you've ever invested in front of a computer.

2.    Spend a little while watching the sunset with your mate. Nothing extra is necessary. Just sit and take in the natural beauty of the sky and appreciate being able to share it with the one you love.

3.    Sit quietly by yourself. It doesn't really matter where or when. Just let your feelings bubble up and then experience the thoughts flowing out of your mind. Clearing your head and heart will give you extra energy to get through the rest of the day.

4.    Write a thank you note to your mate. When was the last time you thanked your partner for just being who he or she is and being with you? Doing this in writing will give your partner something to cherish for the rest of his or her life.

5.    Take out your oldest family photo album and look through it. The experience will fill you with fond memories and perhaps make you a bit wistful for days gone by.

6.    Play with a child. Most kids have short attention spans; ten minutes of quality time from a loving adult can make their day. It will also help you stay in touch with the child inside of you.

7.    Visualize or imagine a positive outcome for any issue. Medical doctors recommend visualization to patients with chronic and potentially fatal illnesses. If it can help them, it can do the same for you.

8.    Go to bed with the one you love ten minutes earlier than usual. Then spend that time just holding each other. Let the feeling of warmth from your mate move through you.

9.    Hang out by some water. Studies show that hospital patients who can see a natural body of water from their beds get better at a 30 percent faster rate. If you're not near the coast or a lake, try taking a bath. Doing so is also healing.

10.  Get your body moving. Shake, twist, and jump around. Let yourself feel the joy of moving to your favorite music, or just the sounds in your head. Run, walk, and bike to your hearts content. You will live longer and love it more.

Sadly, many people measure happiness by how long the experience lasts. The truth is that a few minutes of joy here and there can make a big difference in what you get out of life.

Dr. Goldsmith's Website

36 Ways To Be Irresistibly Attractive

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“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action.” ~Deepak Chopra

Here’s the bottom line: we want people to like us. Even when we say we don’t care what people think, we really do.

We desire to be loved, respected, and viewed in a positive light. Our human interactions are vital to our sense of well-being, self-esteem, and happiness. When we discover that someone doesn’t like us or rejects us in some way, our emotions can run the gamut from defensive indignation to deep pain and profound sadness.

For any of us who have attempted to be likable and attractive to everyone, you eventually realize the futility of this exhausting endeavor.

It is impossible to “make” everyone like you, and even if you could, you will ultimately lose your self in the process. When you morph into a people pleaser or an actor playing roles to accommodate those you want to impress, you often alienate the very people you hope to charm.

The art of being irresistibly attractive to others requires that we do something which can be quite difficult. It requires us to love and respect ourselves first and foremost.

Only when we see ourselves as lovable and embrace our own authentic qualities, needs, ideas, values, and personality traits, do we release the pheromones of attractiveness to others. Although not everyone will be intrigued by your authenticity, those who are attracted to you will generally be emotionally intelligent, mature individuals who value genuine and unaffected relationships.

Self-love, self-confidence, and authenticity are the foundational elements of attractiveness. To strengthen this foundation and foster the transition from “trying to impress” to naturally attracting wonderful people attracting wonderful people into your life, there are some specific changes and shifts you can adopt.

Here are 36 actions you can take to make yourself irresistibly attractive:

1.  Develop your own personal operating system. Carve out and define your own reality, philosophy, values, and interests rather than automatically  accepting those of your family, peers, religion, or culture.

2.  Begin to let go of the need for validation. Don’t be motivated by the opinions or others or the desire for recognition. Be driven by what is important to you and what you value.

3.  Trust your instincts and allow for experimentation. Get to know yourself and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have to fail a few times.

4.  Accept others as they are. Begin letting go of judgments and criticism of others. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself.

5.  Really hear people. Go beyond just listening and understanding. Let people know that you really get them.

6.  Take care of unresolved matters in your life. Restore your integrity. Forgive and ask for forgiveness where necessary. Reclaim the energy you have given to these matters.

7.  Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Get some form of exercise daily. Eat healthy foods that support your body, not your emotions. Do this because you respect yourself, not to impress others.

8.  Cause things to happen. Don’t wait for them. Be a creator, an instigator, a collaborator. Share your enthusiasm.

9.  Show people you care. Don’t just talk about it. Show them in ways that are meaningful to them, not you.

10. Require the best of people. See them not only for who they are, but who they can be. Lovingly reflect that vision to them.

11. Ensure your own needs are met. Discern your primary needs, and communicate fully what is important and valuable to you  in your relationships. Don’t compromise these to keep peace or hang on.

12. Speak constructively. Use your words to uplift, inspire, motivate, and encourage. Don’t offer “constructive criticism” or subtle digs.

13. Laugh easily. Have a lightness about you. Take life less seriously and choose to find and create fun and joy.

14. Cease gossip. Choose not to talk about others in ways that are openly or subtlety critical. Don’t share information for the feeling of power or intrigue.

15. Make requests, not complaints. If you need something from someone, ask for it directly. Don’t whine or complain to them or others.

16. Handle situations fully. Kindly but clearly deal with negative issues as soon as possible. Don’t tolerate anything  if it causes resentments.

17. Be done with arguments. Smile and walk away until healthy communication is possible.

18. Offer help only when asked. Don’t assume that others want you to fix them or that you know best for them. Be available and give help only when asked.

19. Care deeply, but remain detached. Let others know you care deeply about them when they have problems, but don’t get caught up in their problems.

20. See with your heart, not your eyes. Look beyond superficiality when seeing someone. Financial status, appearance, notoriety, all mean nothing. Look for the authentic person inside.

21.  Don’t say yes when you mean no. If you mean no, your yes will be harnessed with resentment. Say yes only when your yes is given freely.

22. Let others know you are grateful. Tell them and show them that you feel blessed to have them in your life.

23. Never play the guilt card. Don’t try to manipulate or hurt someone by trying to make them feel bad about their choices, decisions, or actions.

24. Give more than is expected. Don’t over-commit, but freely give more than you promise.

25. Be inter-developmental in your relationships. Don’t be controlling, dependent or co-dependent. Create relationships that are mutually uplifting, reward, and satisfying.

26. Be a big person. Don’t try to take credit, diminish others, or hold back on praise. Offer acknowledgment and power when it is needed and deserved.

27. Be confident enough to be humble. Be able to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your flaws and failures, and accept that they don’t define you.

28. Be open to learning. Don’t flaunt your intelligence or superior knowledge. Recognize that there is always something to learn, even from those who appear “less than.”

29. Be more engaged than engaging. Show your sincere interest in others. Use the word “you” more than “I.” Listen intently and reflect back to others who they are.

30. Give gifts that others want. Not just gifts to impress or that are important to you.

31. Challenge yourself constantly. Don’t settle for mediocre. Don’t languish in past accomplishments. Keep moving forward and exude enthusiasm about possibilities and the actions to make them happen.

32. Detach from adrenaline. Simplify your life enough so you are not rushed, stressed, cluttered, or distracted. Allow yourself time and room to focus.

33. Embrace the incredible power of now. Nothing is more valuable than this moment. Make it the best moment you possibly can right now.

34. Don’t fight the flow. Don’t struggle against people or situations you can’t control. Move effortlessly in a different direction.

35. Keep evolving. Stay on a path of personal development and stay alert for opportunities for shifts and growth.

36. Accept that you won’t be attractive to everyone. As you evolve and become more attractive, fewer people will be attracted to you — but what an incredible group they are!

Source:
36 Ways To Be Irresistibly Attractive | Bloom