Loving starts with me

If you don't love yourself nobody else will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the Self. [Dr. Wayne W. Dyer]

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The Power of Simplicity

Photo by: Ranjit Swanson
Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries (from Nepal)

In Modern Life there are a seemingly endless series of options and avenues. At each turn, life seems to present numerous complications. It becomes hard to resist the allure of doing more things and trying to solve a myriad of problems. However,  we are often, consciously or unconsciously, yearning for a more simple approach to life. If we can make an effort to bring more simplicity into our lives, we will find many benefits arise.

1. Peace of Mind. 
Simplicity doesn’t necessarily involve living in a Spartan hut. Real simplicity begins in the mind. If we have numerous anxieties and problems it is not possible to have peace of mind. Simplicity means we learn to clear the mind and not allow ourselves to be bombarded by an endless stream of needless thoughts.

2. Living in the present. 
Complication in life often arises because  we are worrying and planning about the future. We can become so concerned about what may happen tomorrow or next year that we forget to enjoy the present moment. To have one’s focus on the here and now, is to encompass life as it is supposed to be.

3. Less Planning and Thinking
When we complicate life through our endless planning we bring tomorrow’s problems into today. Yet it is always worth remembering that our worries and fears about the future often prove to be groundless.

4. Avoiding Judgement.
It is part of human nature to criticise and judge other people. It is very easy to make a long list of complaints and suggestions about other people. But does it help us when we highlight the faults of others? We should feel that we are not responsible for other people’s thoughts and behaviour. If we feel it is our bounden duty to change others, there can be no simplicity and peace in our life. Rather than try to change others, let us just try to focus on changing ourselves. Our own weaknesses are probably more than enough to deal with.

5. Focus and Achievement
Simplicity enables more to be achieved. Simplicity means that we are focused on one thing at a time. Simplicity means we can put all our concentration on just one thing. If we perform an action with no distractions then we can fulfil it quicker and more successfully. Often, when we simplify our life, we find we can actually achieve more than when we juggled several things at once.

“The simpler we can become, the sooner we shall reach our destination. A life of simplicity is a life of constant progress. It is in simplicity that we can make the fastest progress, progress which is everlasting.”

- Sri Chinmoy

6. Simplicity and Beauty. 
Simplicity is often synonymous with beauty. For example, Zen gardens are uncluttered and simple, yet in that simplicity there is a beauty which appeals to our soul. It is the same with Mother Nature; the essence of nature is its unspoilt beauty. Has man ever been able to improve on the beauty and simplicity of nature?

7. Happiness
Be happy with what we have. As George Bernard Shaw aptly said

“There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.”

The nature of desire is that the more we get the more we want. When we get a new car, often after a while we are not satisfied and want to get something better. However real happiness comes when we are content with what we have and are free of desire.

Found here The Power of Simplicity

Love Will Heal Your Life: Be Happy With What You Have

Life is what you make it. As someone said quite beautifully the happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

God bless each moment. God bless your neighborhood. God bless your family. God bless everyone. Seriously. God bless everyone.

Feel the shift and be present enjoying the happiness of this moment. When you are ready to complain about some circumstance or point a finger and feel bad. Be grateful for all of it. No matter what. Be grateful!

Stop and live in full appreciation for EVERYTHING and bless everything.

Be grateful for how much power and strength lie on the other side of beliefs. Let your faith take root and remember with infinite love and gratitude for what is, you have the possibility of shifting the only thing you can. Your perception.

As Ekhart Tolle says make friends with the present. Happiness lives there. How this is true for each of us becomes the happiness of the days of our lives.

You don’t need to be a wise man to get the saying it matters not what happens to us it is always our perception that needs tending. Be happy with what you have. May the best of the past be the worst of your tomorrows!

May your soul be full of joy and your heart leap and spark at the sheer thrill of discovery in happiness with what is.

RULES FOR A PERFECT DAY

1.     Just for today, I will try to live through this day only -- and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a life-time.
2.     Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that. "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within -- it is not a matter of externals.
3.     Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
4.     Just -for today, I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it and not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.
5.     Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will.read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
6.     Just for today, I will.exercise my soul in three ways, to wit: (1) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. (2) I will do at least two things I don't want to do, just for exercise of will-power. (3) I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
7.     Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, and criticize not one bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
8.     Just for today, I will have a program. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I'll have it as a pattern to follow. It will save me from the two pests - HURRY and INDECISION.
9.     Just for today, I will have a quiet half-hour, all by myself, and relax. In this half-hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.
10.     Just for today, I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love, love me.

Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect

Perfect is the enemy of good.

Many of us are perfectionists in our own right.  I know I am at times.  We set high bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward.  We dedicate copious amounts of time and attention to our work to maintain our high personal standards.  Our passion for excellence drives us to run the extra mile, never stopping, never relenting.  And this dedication towards perfection undoubtedly helps us to achieve results…  So long as we don’t get carried away.

But what happens when we do get carried away with perfectionism?

We become disgruntled and discouraged when we fail to meet the (impossibly high) standards we set for ourselves, making us reluctant to take on new challenges or even finish tasks we’ve already started.  Our insistence on dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’ breeds inefficiency, causing major delays, stress overload and subpar results.

True perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them… always.  I have a friend who has wanted to start a graphic design business for several years.  But she hasn’t yet.  Why?  When you sift through her extensive list of excuses it comes down to one simple problem:  She is a perfectionist.  Which means she doesn’t, and never will, think she’s good enough at graphic design to own and operate her own graphic design business.

Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.  And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.  Only by wading through years of practice and imperfection can we begin to achieve momentary glimpses of the perfection.

So make a decision.  Take action.  Learn from the outcome.  And repeat this method over and over and over again in all walks of life.  Also, check out Too Perfect.  It’s an excellent read on conquering perfectionism.

Stop caring about what everyone else has

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop!  Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess.  Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.

The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you might have a new destination in mind.

Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now.  Try comparing yourself to those who have less, those who are dealing with tragedy, and those who are struggling to survive. Hopefully it opens your eyes to all the things you should be grateful for.

Complainers in the Office: 3 Ways to Deal With Them

Exposure to nonstop negativity actually impairs brain function. Here's how to defend yourself.

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Do you hate it when people complain? It turns out there's a good reason: Listening to too much complaining is bad for your brain in multiple ways, according to Trevor Blake, a serial entrepreneur and author of Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life. In the book, he describes how neuroscientists have learned to measure brain activity when faced with various stimuli, including a long gripe session.

"The brain works more like a muscle than we thought," Blake says. "So if you're pinned in a corner for too long listening to someone being negative, you're more likely to behave that way as well."

Even worse, being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb. Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity--including viewing such material on TV--actually peels away neurons in the brain's hippocampus. "That's the part of your brain you need for problem solving," he says. "Basically, it turns your brain to mush."

But if you're running a company, don't you need to hear about anything that may have gone wrong? "There's a big difference between bringing your attention to something that's awry and a complaint," Blake says. "Typically, people who are complaining don't want a solution; they just want you to join in the indignity of the whole thing. You can almost hear brains clink when six people get together and start saying, 'Isn't it terrible?' This will damage your brain even if you're just passively listening. And if you try to change their behavior, you'll become the target of the complaint."

So, how do you defend yourself and your brain from all the negativity? Blake recommends the following tactics:

1. Get some distance

"My father was a chain smoker," Blake confides. "I tried to change his habit, but it's not easy to do that." Blake knew secondhand smoke could damage his own lungs as well. "My only recourse was to distance myself."

You should look at complaining the same way, he says. "The approach I've always taken with complaining is to think of it as the same as passive smoking." Your brain will thank you if you get yourself away from the complainer, if you can.

2. Ask the complainer to fix the problem

Sometimes getting distance isn't an option. If you can't easily walk away, a second strategy is to ask the complainer to fix the problem.

"Try to get the person who's complaining to take responsibility for a solution," Blake says. "I typically respond to a complaint with, 'What are you going to do about it?'" Many complainers walk away huffily at that point, because he hasn't given them what they wanted, Blake reports. But some may actually try to solve the problem.

3. Shields up!

When you're trapped listening to a complaint, you can use mental techniques to block out the griping and save your neurons. Blake favors one used by the late Spanish golfer Seve Ballesteros during a match against Jack Nicklaus--a match the crowd wanted Ballesteros to lose. "He was having difficulty handling the hostility of the crowd," Blake says. "So he imagined a bell jar that no one could see descending from the sky to protect him."

Major League Baseball pitchers can sometimes be seen mouthing "Shields on!" as they stride to the mound, he says. He adds that his own imaginary defense is "more like a Harry Potter invisibility cloak."

A related strategy is to mentally retreat to your imagined favorite spot, someplace you'd go if you could wave a magic wand. "For me, it was a ribbon of beautiful white sugary sand that extended out in a horseshoe shape from a private island," Blake says. "I would take myself to my private retreat while people were ranting and raving. I could smile at them and nod in all the right places and meanwhile take myself for a walk on my private beach."

Blake first saw the picture of the island in a magazine, and the image stuck with him. Eventually, he got a chance to try it for real. "It turned out the island was for rent, and it was the same one I'd seen," he says. "So I rented it for a week. And I got to take that walk."

Source:
Complainers in the Office: 3 Ways to Deal With Them | Inc.com

10 Life-Enhancing Things You Can Do in Ten Minutes or Less

by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D

It usually takes us much longer to change our moods than we’d like it to take. Here are ten things you can do in ten minutes or less that will have a positive emotional effect on you and those you love.

1.    Watch "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. See it online at Oprah.com. This is a deeply moving segment that may be the best ten minutes you've ever invested in front of a computer.

2.    Spend a little while watching the sunset with your mate. Nothing extra is necessary. Just sit and take in the natural beauty of the sky and appreciate being able to share it with the one you love.

3.    Sit quietly by yourself. It doesn't really matter where or when. Just let your feelings bubble up and then experience the thoughts flowing out of your mind. Clearing your head and heart will give you extra energy to get through the rest of the day.

4.    Write a thank you note to your mate. When was the last time you thanked your partner for just being who he or she is and being with you? Doing this in writing will give your partner something to cherish for the rest of his or her life.

5.    Take out your oldest family photo album and look through it. The experience will fill you with fond memories and perhaps make you a bit wistful for days gone by.

6.    Play with a child. Most kids have short attention spans; ten minutes of quality time from a loving adult can make their day. It will also help you stay in touch with the child inside of you.

7.    Visualize or imagine a positive outcome for any issue. Medical doctors recommend visualization to patients with chronic and potentially fatal illnesses. If it can help them, it can do the same for you.

8.    Go to bed with the one you love ten minutes earlier than usual. Then spend that time just holding each other. Let the feeling of warmth from your mate move through you.

9.    Hang out by some water. Studies show that hospital patients who can see a natural body of water from their beds get better at a 30 percent faster rate. If you're not near the coast or a lake, try taking a bath. Doing so is also healing.

10.  Get your body moving. Shake, twist, and jump around. Let yourself feel the joy of moving to your favorite music, or just the sounds in your head. Run, walk, and bike to your hearts content. You will live longer and love it more.

Sadly, many people measure happiness by how long the experience lasts. The truth is that a few minutes of joy here and there can make a big difference in what you get out of life.

Dr. Goldsmith's Website

I Worth It

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Many times in life we do not 100% believe we will receive something. Actually we often start to say “I feel it, I will get it very soon” and then nothing happen.

Why? One of the first reasons is that because we do not have it 100%.

Yesterday I was talking with my niece. She is struggling with her job, she feels having little perspectives, and is a lot uncomfortable with that. While she daily tries to get rid of that feeling. But, nothing happens.

I explained to her my idea about this, trying to make her clear it was simply a matter of attitude. She said to me “I know, auntie; I start positive each single day. BUT I already know my effort will be useless. My boss will certainly obstacle my initiatives. Well, why should that be allowed to one like me?”

The point was there. The very starting point. My niece was saying to herself, first the right thing to do, to start positive, with ideas and initiative. And immediately her second step was to create the stop with the sentence “my boss will certainly obstacle my initiatives”. She already knew to be stopped. And the Law of Attraction was calling that stop to her. The Universe does not know if you want or if you do not want something. It reacts to the inner power of your consciousness, which was—in that case– saying “my boss will stop me”. But worse, my niece was adding something to that stop. She was justifying herself from not getting her success, because she was not worth it: “Why should that be allowed to one like me?”

Here is a mistake many of us are repeating and repeating, to become an habit. We think we do not worth it. We do not realize that when we ask, we express our divinity. We ask simply because we know, in the deep part of ourselves, that we deserve what we ask for. We can have it. It is due because of our status of divine being, made to be abundant of everything we think to be present in our life.

Therefore, we should start to think that we are also so important to the Universe, that we worth receiving what we asked for. Never give the Universe the possibility to cancel your effort, by affirming the idea you will not receive what you ask for.

Why should your boss, or your parents, or your mate allow you to make something, have something, do something? Simply because of your right to it, you express to the Universe with your asking for it.

October 2011 - Inspirational

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