7 Lessons From 7 Great Minds

Have you ever wished you could go back in time and have a conversation with one of the greatest minds in history? Well, you can’t sorry, they’re dead. Unless of course you’re clairaudient, be my guest. But for the rest of us, we can still refer to the words they left behind.

Even though these great teachers have passed on, their words still live, and in them their wisdom. I’ve made a list of seven what I believe are some of the greatest teachings by the world’s greatest minds.

1. Realizing Your Dreams

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”

- Lawrence J. Peter

In order for us to achieve our dreams, we must have a vision of our goals. Writing down our dreams and creating a list of actions helps us stick to our plan. As it’s said “if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it”. When we turn our goals into measurable actions, we gain clarity and are able to see the necessary steps we must take in order to achieve them.

Action: Visualize a life of your wildest dreams. What did you dream of doing when you were a child? What would you do if you had a million dollars? Create a vision for your goals and start breaking them down into small actions that you can take on a day by day basis.

2. Overcoming Fear

“It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best way to learn something is to dive right in to it. When we overcome our fear of failure, we learn that only those who are asleep make no mistakes. Fear is the only thing keeping us from experiencing a life of love and fulfillment. If we make a commitment to an uncompromisable quest for truth, we will realize that as we grow more into the truth, our fears start to disappear.

Action: You must define your fears in order to conquer them. Create a list of everything you’re afraid of and start facing them one at a time. Make a commitment to yourself now to not let fear rule your life.

3. Intention and Desire

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”- Guatama Buddha

Our thoughts determine our reality. When we stop thinking about what we don’t and begin thinking about what we do want, our lives begin to transform. Instead of working against our desires and intentions, we move into alignment with them.

Action: Create a list of your intentions and desires. Wherever you go, take this list with you. Read it when you wake up and before you go to sleep.

4. Happiness

“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.”

- Benjamin Franklin

Happiness comes from an inner peace, understanding and acceptance of life; a perspective of truth that opens your eyes to the beauty of life all around us. Happiness cannot be achieved by external status, it must be an internal state that we realize when we see our innate perfection.

Action: Realize that happiness is a choice. In every decision you make ask yourself “how can I respond to make myself happy and fulfilled?”

5. Self Acceptance

“If a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” – Jesus

When we stop trying to be what we are not, we realize our authenticity. Before we had knowledge, we were completely authentic. We learn to use knowledge to measure and judge, which is a powerful tool we have as humans. However we create an image of perfection in our mind of what we should be, but are not. We confuse knowledge for nature. We believe in the lie of our imperfection. When we realize this we can reclaim the truth of our perfection and live in love and acceptance.

Action: Make a commitment to never go against yourself. Practice non-judgment and realize that the same part of your mind that condemns you is the same voice that caused you to take the action in the first place. We don’t even have to believe what we say to ourselves.

6. Appreciation and Gratitude

“So much has been given to me, I have not time to ponder over that which has been denied.”

- Helen Keller

How many times do we count our misfortunes rather than our blessings? When we take time to open our eyes to the miracle of life we can see the many gifts that have been given to us. Remembering all the beautiful aspects of life and all the reasons you are blessed can immediately shift our mood. We can move from sorrow and despair to appreciation and hope.

Action: Each time you find yourself complaining about something, re-direct your focus to something you are grateful for. Make a habit of transforming your awareness of troubles into an awareness of abundance.

7. The Art of Simplicity

“I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short.”

- Blaise Pascal

Perfection is not when there is nothing to add, but when there is nothing more to take away. As Bruce Lee once said “the height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” True mastery of our lives is realizing the simple joys of life, removing distractions and clutter from our lives.

Action: The art of simplicity is knowing what to take away. Practice recognizing when you’re spending your time on unimportant tasks and re-focus on the important.

This list is by no means exhaustive. There are other many great teachings that I did not include here because I felt like they were already expounded on thoroughly elsewhere, such as Einstein and Gandhi’s timeless classics. There are also great teachings to be found from our parents or friends.

Found here

7 Lessons From 7 Great Minds - Global One TV: Multimedia for Mystics

How to Be Happier at Work

Sometimes the route to happiness depends more on what you don't do.

 

Happiness--in your business life and your personal life--is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.

Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:

1. Blaming.

People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.

So you blame them for your problems.

But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. Impressing.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you.

Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

3. Clinging.

When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you.

An absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.

Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

4. Interrupting.

Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say."

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.

They'll love you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.

5. Whining.

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.

If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.

Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on.

Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Controlling.

Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog.

Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.

And all of you will be happier.

7. Criticizing.

Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.

That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else--including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.

8. Preaching.

Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

9. Dwelling.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

10. Fearing.

We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.

So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.

And so do our dreams.

Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today.

If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.

Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.

Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

Found here

How to Be Happier at Work: 10 Tips | Inc.com

Your Power for Unlimited Success & Abundance - Have a Magnificent Day!

Dawn of Your Dreams

God or the Universe does not make mistakes.

There are no accidents or coincidences.

This is the way it is.

Everything in your life has led up to this moment and these exact circumstances.

As they say in the game of poker, this is the hand you were dealt and this is the hand you have to play out. It is totally up to you.

Based on your thoughts, beliefs, words and actions you create your reality.

The outcome is totally dependent on you!

YOU make all the difference in the world.

Whatever you focus your attention on is where your energy goes.

This is the Law of Focused Attention or The Law of Attraction.

You have free will and freedom of choice so you determine the outcome.

So, be clear that everything in your life depends on you.

You are the cause and source of everything that you create.

It starts with your inner reality, your inner game.

You can focus your thoughts, energy and resources on what you want in a positive direction.

Or you can focus on the negative…..on fear……on most of the things you hear people talk about.

Most of the topics in the news, on the Internet, TV, radio, etc are fear-based and negative.

Sad that drama, trauma and scandal is more interesting than the wonderful things in life.

Your most important choice is where are you going to focus your attention.

POSITIVE or negative, FREEDOM or fear, ABUNDANCE or lack, OPPORTUNITY or limitation?

Because whatever you believe is what is. Whatever you choose is your reality.

This is the Power of Acknowledgement.

Complaining is just a waste of time and energy.

Wise people do not pay attention to this. They do not spend time wSave as Draftith negative people.

They create positive environments, they look for opportunities, they create solutions, they create positive results. They make things happen.

It takes much more effort, courage, determination and persistence to think creatively and to follow your own path. It is much easier to let things be the way they are and not create what you want and follow your dreams. Creators and achievers use their energy to think differently, to trust their intuition and inspirations.

What are you going to do now?

Successful people create rather than compete.

When they are told that they can’t do something, then that is exactly what they must do.

They have an overwhelmingly positive and triumphant belief that anything is possible.

They do what it takes to succeed.

You can do all of these wonderful things and not violate the rights of others.

You can follow proper principles and create magnificent results.

Be clear that temptation will present short cuts and the ego will attempt to manipulate you.

How you conduct yourself and how you achieve your results are even more important than the results your achieve. So choose wisely. Once you say something or do something it cannot be taken back. Make sure your efforts are for your highest possibilities and for the good of all concerned.

This time in history offers you the greatest opportunities that we have seen since the Great Depression.

Make it count……seize the day……..seize the moment.

Turn your dreams into reality.

I found this inspiring article here:

Your Power for Unlimited Success & Abundance - Have a Magnificent Day!

RULES FOR A PERFECT DAY

1.     Just for today, I will try to live through this day only -- and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a life-time.
2.     Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that. "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within -- it is not a matter of externals.
3.     Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
4.     Just -for today, I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it and not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.
5.     Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will.read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
6.     Just for today, I will.exercise my soul in three ways, to wit: (1) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. (2) I will do at least two things I don't want to do, just for exercise of will-power. (3) I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
7.     Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, and criticize not one bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
8.     Just for today, I will have a program. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I'll have it as a pattern to follow. It will save me from the two pests - HURRY and INDECISION.
9.     Just for today, I will have a quiet half-hour, all by myself, and relax. In this half-hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.
10.     Just for today, I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love, love me.

Stop caring about things you can’t control

Some forces are out of your control.  Accept this fact of life.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.

The smartest thing you can do to compensate for the things you can’t control is adjusting your attitude.  Your attitude has a profound effect on your overall potential.  Consuming yourself with the negative aspects of a circumstance gets nothing productive accomplished.  But if you instead look at the circumstance productively and positively, coming from the standpoint of “What’s my next best move?” you put yourself back in the driver’s seat.

Bottom line:  As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.  The opposite is also true.  The choice is yours to make.

Stop caring about mistakes

Mistakes teach you important lessons.  The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake.  So don’t hesitate – don’t doubt yourself.  In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!

And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.  Remember, if you never act, you will never know for sure, and you will be left standing in the same spot forever.

Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect

Perfect is the enemy of good.

Many of us are perfectionists in our own right.  I know I am at times.  We set high bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward.  We dedicate copious amounts of time and attention to our work to maintain our high personal standards.  Our passion for excellence drives us to run the extra mile, never stopping, never relenting.  And this dedication towards perfection undoubtedly helps us to achieve results…  So long as we don’t get carried away.

But what happens when we do get carried away with perfectionism?

We become disgruntled and discouraged when we fail to meet the (impossibly high) standards we set for ourselves, making us reluctant to take on new challenges or even finish tasks we’ve already started.  Our insistence on dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’ breeds inefficiency, causing major delays, stress overload and subpar results.

True perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them… always.  I have a friend who has wanted to start a graphic design business for several years.  But she hasn’t yet.  Why?  When you sift through her extensive list of excuses it comes down to one simple problem:  She is a perfectionist.  Which means she doesn’t, and never will, think she’s good enough at graphic design to own and operate her own graphic design business.

Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.  And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.  Only by wading through years of practice and imperfection can we begin to achieve momentary glimpses of the perfection.

So make a decision.  Take action.  Learn from the outcome.  And repeat this method over and over and over again in all walks of life.  Also, check out Too Perfect.  It’s an excellent read on conquering perfectionism.

Stop caring about what everyone else has

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop!  Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess.  Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.

The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you might have a new destination in mind.

Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now.  Try comparing yourself to those who have less, those who are dealing with tragedy, and those who are struggling to survive. Hopefully it opens your eyes to all the things you should be grateful for.

Stop caring about what everyone else wants for you

Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will usually give you awful advice.  It’s not because they have evil intentions.  It’s because they don’t understand the big picture – what your dreams, passions and life goals mean to you.  They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.

So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.

As our friend Steve Jobs says:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”

Stop caring about the boundaries others set up

No matter how much progress you make there will always be the people who insist that whatever you’re trying to do is impossible.  Or they may incessantly suggest that the idea or dream as a whole is utterly ridiculous because nobody really cares.  When you come across these people, don’t try to reason with them.  Instead, forget that they exist.  They will only waste your time and energy.

Try what you want to try.  Go where you want to go.  Follow your own intuition.  Don’t accept false choices.  Don’t let others put a cage around you.  Definitely don’t listen to the watchdog.

Whenever somebody discredits you and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.

Practicing Loving Kindness

May I be happy, peaceful and free from suffering.
May no harm come to me.
May no difficulties come to me.
May no problems come to me.
May I always find fulfillment. May I also have patience, courage, understanding, and determination, to meet and overcome, the inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.
 

May my teachers and all teachers of the Truth be happy, peaceful and free from suffering.
May no harm come to them.
May no difficulties come to them.
May no problems come to them.
May they always find fulfillment. May they also have patience, courage, understanding, and determination, to meet and overcome, the inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.

May my parents, brothers and sisters, friends and relatives, pets, all the people I don't know and all the people I don't like be happy, peaceful and free from suffering.
May no harm come to them.
May no difficulties come to them.
May no problems come to them.
May they always find fulfillment. May they also have patience, courage, understanding, and determination, to meet and overcome, the inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.

From the highest realm of existence to the lowest, may all beings arisen in these realms, with form and without, with perception and without, with consciousness and without, may they be happy, peaceful and free from suffering.
May no harm come to them.
May no difficulties come to them.
May no problems come to them.
May they always find fulfillment. May they also have patience, courage, understanding, and determination, to meet and overcome, the inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.

Stop caring about looking a certain way

There is no right way to dress or right way to wear your hair.  No, I’m not saying to you should dress like a clown simply to rebel either.  Everyone who purposely tries to look different ends up looking the same.

Be you, just the way you are, in the unique way only you know how.  Wear clothes and styles you feel comfortable wearing.  Dress the way YOU dress.

You’re a one of a kind.  Trying to look like someone else is a waste of your own beauty.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.

Stop caring about being politically correct

I had a discussion with a friend yesterday about censorship and how speaking a certain way simply to please others contributes to the loss of one’s true inner voice.  

During the discussion I watched him closely, and I could actually pinpoint the heated moment when he was about to give me a piece of his mind, but stopped himself.  It was so obvious!  So I called him out on it.  “You just censored yourself, didn’t you?”  He laughed and nodded.

Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head.  It’s always there watching you.  It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers, bosses and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line.  

And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think his opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths.  

But the watchdog’s views are not truths, they’re just opinions – forceful opinions that have the potential to completely brainwash you of your own opinions if you aren’t careful.

Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches.  He can’t actually control you.  He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain.

No, you should not start randomly cussing and acting like a fool.  But you must say what you need to say when you need to say it.  If it isn’t politically correct, so what.

Don’t censor yourself.  Speak the truth.  Your truth.

Stop caring about everyone’s opinion of you

For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter.  

When I was younger I let the opinions of my high school and early college peers influence my decisions.  

And at times they steered me away from ideas and goals I strongly believed in.  

I realize now, many years later, that this was a foolish way to live, especially when I consider that nearly all of these people whose opinions I cared so much about are no longer a part of my life.

Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way.  What they think and say about you isn’t important. 

What is important is how you feel about yourself. 

Think of Others

Sharing the heart is a simple practice that can be used at any time and in every situation. It enlarges our view and helps us remember our interconnection.

The essence of this practice is that when we encounter pain in our life we breathe into our heart with the recognition that others also feel this. It’s a way of acknowledging when we are closing down and of training to open up. When we encounter any pleasure or tenderness in our life, we cherish that and rejoice. Then we make the wish that others could also experience this delight or this relief.

In a nutshell, when life is pleasant, think of others. When life is a burden, think of others. If this is the only training we ever remember to do, it will benefit us tremendously and everyone else as well. It’s a way of bringing whatever we encounter onto the path of awakening bodhichitta. 

[Pema Chödrön Heart Advice]

Complainers in the Office: 3 Ways to Deal With Them

Exposure to nonstop negativity actually impairs brain function. Here's how to defend yourself.

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Do you hate it when people complain? It turns out there's a good reason: Listening to too much complaining is bad for your brain in multiple ways, according to Trevor Blake, a serial entrepreneur and author of Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life. In the book, he describes how neuroscientists have learned to measure brain activity when faced with various stimuli, including a long gripe session.

"The brain works more like a muscle than we thought," Blake says. "So if you're pinned in a corner for too long listening to someone being negative, you're more likely to behave that way as well."

Even worse, being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb. Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity--including viewing such material on TV--actually peels away neurons in the brain's hippocampus. "That's the part of your brain you need for problem solving," he says. "Basically, it turns your brain to mush."

But if you're running a company, don't you need to hear about anything that may have gone wrong? "There's a big difference between bringing your attention to something that's awry and a complaint," Blake says. "Typically, people who are complaining don't want a solution; they just want you to join in the indignity of the whole thing. You can almost hear brains clink when six people get together and start saying, 'Isn't it terrible?' This will damage your brain even if you're just passively listening. And if you try to change their behavior, you'll become the target of the complaint."

So, how do you defend yourself and your brain from all the negativity? Blake recommends the following tactics:

1. Get some distance

"My father was a chain smoker," Blake confides. "I tried to change his habit, but it's not easy to do that." Blake knew secondhand smoke could damage his own lungs as well. "My only recourse was to distance myself."

You should look at complaining the same way, he says. "The approach I've always taken with complaining is to think of it as the same as passive smoking." Your brain will thank you if you get yourself away from the complainer, if you can.

2. Ask the complainer to fix the problem

Sometimes getting distance isn't an option. If you can't easily walk away, a second strategy is to ask the complainer to fix the problem.

"Try to get the person who's complaining to take responsibility for a solution," Blake says. "I typically respond to a complaint with, 'What are you going to do about it?'" Many complainers walk away huffily at that point, because he hasn't given them what they wanted, Blake reports. But some may actually try to solve the problem.

3. Shields up!

When you're trapped listening to a complaint, you can use mental techniques to block out the griping and save your neurons. Blake favors one used by the late Spanish golfer Seve Ballesteros during a match against Jack Nicklaus--a match the crowd wanted Ballesteros to lose. "He was having difficulty handling the hostility of the crowd," Blake says. "So he imagined a bell jar that no one could see descending from the sky to protect him."

Major League Baseball pitchers can sometimes be seen mouthing "Shields on!" as they stride to the mound, he says. He adds that his own imaginary defense is "more like a Harry Potter invisibility cloak."

A related strategy is to mentally retreat to your imagined favorite spot, someplace you'd go if you could wave a magic wand. "For me, it was a ribbon of beautiful white sugary sand that extended out in a horseshoe shape from a private island," Blake says. "I would take myself to my private retreat while people were ranting and raving. I could smile at them and nod in all the right places and meanwhile take myself for a walk on my private beach."

Blake first saw the picture of the island in a magazine, and the image stuck with him. Eventually, he got a chance to try it for real. "It turned out the island was for rent, and it was the same one I'd seen," he says. "So I rented it for a week. And I got to take that walk."

Source:
Complainers in the Office: 3 Ways to Deal With Them | Inc.com

10 Life-Enhancing Things You Can Do in Ten Minutes or Less

by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D

It usually takes us much longer to change our moods than we’d like it to take. Here are ten things you can do in ten minutes or less that will have a positive emotional effect on you and those you love.

1.    Watch "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. See it online at Oprah.com. This is a deeply moving segment that may be the best ten minutes you've ever invested in front of a computer.

2.    Spend a little while watching the sunset with your mate. Nothing extra is necessary. Just sit and take in the natural beauty of the sky and appreciate being able to share it with the one you love.

3.    Sit quietly by yourself. It doesn't really matter where or when. Just let your feelings bubble up and then experience the thoughts flowing out of your mind. Clearing your head and heart will give you extra energy to get through the rest of the day.

4.    Write a thank you note to your mate. When was the last time you thanked your partner for just being who he or she is and being with you? Doing this in writing will give your partner something to cherish for the rest of his or her life.

5.    Take out your oldest family photo album and look through it. The experience will fill you with fond memories and perhaps make you a bit wistful for days gone by.

6.    Play with a child. Most kids have short attention spans; ten minutes of quality time from a loving adult can make their day. It will also help you stay in touch with the child inside of you.

7.    Visualize or imagine a positive outcome for any issue. Medical doctors recommend visualization to patients with chronic and potentially fatal illnesses. If it can help them, it can do the same for you.

8.    Go to bed with the one you love ten minutes earlier than usual. Then spend that time just holding each other. Let the feeling of warmth from your mate move through you.

9.    Hang out by some water. Studies show that hospital patients who can see a natural body of water from their beds get better at a 30 percent faster rate. If you're not near the coast or a lake, try taking a bath. Doing so is also healing.

10.  Get your body moving. Shake, twist, and jump around. Let yourself feel the joy of moving to your favorite music, or just the sounds in your head. Run, walk, and bike to your hearts content. You will live longer and love it more.

Sadly, many people measure happiness by how long the experience lasts. The truth is that a few minutes of joy here and there can make a big difference in what you get out of life.

Dr. Goldsmith's Website

36 Ways To Be Irresistibly Attractive

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“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action.” ~Deepak Chopra

Here’s the bottom line: we want people to like us. Even when we say we don’t care what people think, we really do.

We desire to be loved, respected, and viewed in a positive light. Our human interactions are vital to our sense of well-being, self-esteem, and happiness. When we discover that someone doesn’t like us or rejects us in some way, our emotions can run the gamut from defensive indignation to deep pain and profound sadness.

For any of us who have attempted to be likable and attractive to everyone, you eventually realize the futility of this exhausting endeavor.

It is impossible to “make” everyone like you, and even if you could, you will ultimately lose your self in the process. When you morph into a people pleaser or an actor playing roles to accommodate those you want to impress, you often alienate the very people you hope to charm.

The art of being irresistibly attractive to others requires that we do something which can be quite difficult. It requires us to love and respect ourselves first and foremost.

Only when we see ourselves as lovable and embrace our own authentic qualities, needs, ideas, values, and personality traits, do we release the pheromones of attractiveness to others. Although not everyone will be intrigued by your authenticity, those who are attracted to you will generally be emotionally intelligent, mature individuals who value genuine and unaffected relationships.

Self-love, self-confidence, and authenticity are the foundational elements of attractiveness. To strengthen this foundation and foster the transition from “trying to impress” to naturally attracting wonderful people attracting wonderful people into your life, there are some specific changes and shifts you can adopt.

Here are 36 actions you can take to make yourself irresistibly attractive:

1.  Develop your own personal operating system. Carve out and define your own reality, philosophy, values, and interests rather than automatically  accepting those of your family, peers, religion, or culture.

2.  Begin to let go of the need for validation. Don’t be motivated by the opinions or others or the desire for recognition. Be driven by what is important to you and what you value.

3.  Trust your instincts and allow for experimentation. Get to know yourself and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have to fail a few times.

4.  Accept others as they are. Begin letting go of judgments and criticism of others. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself.

5.  Really hear people. Go beyond just listening and understanding. Let people know that you really get them.

6.  Take care of unresolved matters in your life. Restore your integrity. Forgive and ask for forgiveness where necessary. Reclaim the energy you have given to these matters.

7.  Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Get some form of exercise daily. Eat healthy foods that support your body, not your emotions. Do this because you respect yourself, not to impress others.

8.  Cause things to happen. Don’t wait for them. Be a creator, an instigator, a collaborator. Share your enthusiasm.

9.  Show people you care. Don’t just talk about it. Show them in ways that are meaningful to them, not you.

10. Require the best of people. See them not only for who they are, but who they can be. Lovingly reflect that vision to them.

11. Ensure your own needs are met. Discern your primary needs, and communicate fully what is important and valuable to you  in your relationships. Don’t compromise these to keep peace or hang on.

12. Speak constructively. Use your words to uplift, inspire, motivate, and encourage. Don’t offer “constructive criticism” or subtle digs.

13. Laugh easily. Have a lightness about you. Take life less seriously and choose to find and create fun and joy.

14. Cease gossip. Choose not to talk about others in ways that are openly or subtlety critical. Don’t share information for the feeling of power or intrigue.

15. Make requests, not complaints. If you need something from someone, ask for it directly. Don’t whine or complain to them or others.

16. Handle situations fully. Kindly but clearly deal with negative issues as soon as possible. Don’t tolerate anything  if it causes resentments.

17. Be done with arguments. Smile and walk away until healthy communication is possible.

18. Offer help only when asked. Don’t assume that others want you to fix them or that you know best for them. Be available and give help only when asked.

19. Care deeply, but remain detached. Let others know you care deeply about them when they have problems, but don’t get caught up in their problems.

20. See with your heart, not your eyes. Look beyond superficiality when seeing someone. Financial status, appearance, notoriety, all mean nothing. Look for the authentic person inside.

21.  Don’t say yes when you mean no. If you mean no, your yes will be harnessed with resentment. Say yes only when your yes is given freely.

22. Let others know you are grateful. Tell them and show them that you feel blessed to have them in your life.

23. Never play the guilt card. Don’t try to manipulate or hurt someone by trying to make them feel bad about their choices, decisions, or actions.

24. Give more than is expected. Don’t over-commit, but freely give more than you promise.

25. Be inter-developmental in your relationships. Don’t be controlling, dependent or co-dependent. Create relationships that are mutually uplifting, reward, and satisfying.

26. Be a big person. Don’t try to take credit, diminish others, or hold back on praise. Offer acknowledgment and power when it is needed and deserved.

27. Be confident enough to be humble. Be able to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your flaws and failures, and accept that they don’t define you.

28. Be open to learning. Don’t flaunt your intelligence or superior knowledge. Recognize that there is always something to learn, even from those who appear “less than.”

29. Be more engaged than engaging. Show your sincere interest in others. Use the word “you” more than “I.” Listen intently and reflect back to others who they are.

30. Give gifts that others want. Not just gifts to impress or that are important to you.

31. Challenge yourself constantly. Don’t settle for mediocre. Don’t languish in past accomplishments. Keep moving forward and exude enthusiasm about possibilities and the actions to make them happen.

32. Detach from adrenaline. Simplify your life enough so you are not rushed, stressed, cluttered, or distracted. Allow yourself time and room to focus.

33. Embrace the incredible power of now. Nothing is more valuable than this moment. Make it the best moment you possibly can right now.

34. Don’t fight the flow. Don’t struggle against people or situations you can’t control. Move effortlessly in a different direction.

35. Keep evolving. Stay on a path of personal development and stay alert for opportunities for shifts and growth.

36. Accept that you won’t be attractive to everyone. As you evolve and become more attractive, fewer people will be attracted to you — but what an incredible group they are!

Source:
36 Ways To Be Irresistibly Attractive | Bloom

Meditation Is Not What You Might Think

It seems everyone is interested in meditation...talking about the wonderful benefits, recommending classes and discussing the different ways to "do it". But, for a beginner, just what is "it"? And how do you do "it"?

Our busy, hectic, lifestyles may seem to prohibit this peaceful practice, or provide a convenient "excuse" not to begin, or continue, to meditate...but, the happy news is, you CAN successfully benefit even if you practice for short periods. With the simple technique described below, you will begin and incredible journey. There are 100's of styles, traditions and forms of meditation, but this simple practice has always been highly recommended. It is said, "Here is where the beginner begins and the Master ends".

Sit comfortably, preferably upright and alert. If unable to sit upright, lie down. When sitting, allow your spine and back muscles to support you, if you're able, otherwise use the back of the chair. Especially for beginners, if you're uncomfortable, your mind will be distracted and you will not benefit fully --- it will distract you from your process. You may alter things for your needs. If sitting in a chair, feet flat to the floor, thighs parallel to floor, feet aligned with knees, knees aligned with hips and shoulders, back straight (but not rigid), hands resting in lap, palms down. Do not slump or slouch --- imagine your head suspended by a golden thread from above. The suspension point is the crown of your head, so your chin is slightly tucked inward. If you slump or tire, just pull your sting upward! You'll feel weightless and relaxed. Remember, alter your position somewhat if needed. You will slowly become very comfortable with this position.

To sit on a mat, cushion or pillow, sit cross-legged, half or full lotus, depending on your ability. Do not force this, or any other posture; move gradually into it. Whether practicing indoors or outdoors, the air should be fresh and well-ventilated, without draft or high wind and clothes should be loose and comfortable.

You may close your eyes (unless this causes you to fall asleep) or gaze with almost-closed eyes as if looking downward and inward. If you wish, rest the tip of your tongue on your upper hard palate behind your teeth. Unless there is a physical restriction, breathe through your nose.

Traditionally, the best times to practice are upon arising and in the evening or before bedtime. With hectic modern schedules, any time is fine. Don't allow a "lack of time" to stop you. You can still benefit even if you practice for "odd moments" throughout your day --- you will be surprised how a few minutes here-and-there add up for your peace of mind. Recommended practice time is 20 minutes, twice per day --- IF YOU CAN ... some people practice more often and for more than 20 minutes. Remember, this is personal; just do your best and enjoy. Do not practice when exhausted; avoid eating 30 minutes before or after practice. Practice for a few minutes at first in a quiet environment. The time will lengthen as you become more comfortable...you'll probably surprise yourself! You may use soothing music as a pleasant background.

YOUR PRACTICE

Sit comfortably...allow yourself to become aware of your environment as you gently and slowly close your eyes...become aware of your body...feel yourself sitting...feel the contact your body makes with each surface...feel body parts touching other body parts (hands resting in lap, legs crossed)...feel your body resting comfortably and safely in the surrounding air...draw your awareness inward as you feel your body relaxing into the surfaces...calmly be aware of your breathing, without altering your breath...rest your attention either at your navel or your nostrils...calmly feel and be aware of the rhythm of your breathing...if thoughts come into your mind, don't try to stop or avoid them; just be aware of them and let them drift away --- don't follow them and don't try to solve problems...thoughts will always come; just smile as you notice them...observe them and let them go as you return to awareness of the soothing flow of your breath...always, as your mind wanders, bring it back to your breathing...You may wish to imagine or think of your breath as a color or a light or a pleasant thought moving in and out of your body in a smooth flow --- words like "peace", "calm", "tranquility", "love", "light", "safety", and the like are fine...use whatever you wish...you may repeat such words in your mind in rhythm with the flow of your breathing...smile inwardly as you meditate...just sit and listen to your breath and the calming thoughts...be aware...rest in the stillness and silence of this peaceful, powerful moment...and for just this moment, you can release all thoughts, worries and concerns and just be tranquil and serene.

When you feel that you have practiced for just the right amount of time, slowly return to awareness of your body...awareness of being in your environment...turn your attention outward and slowly, gradually open your eyes. You may stretch and/or rub your palms together, place them over your eyes, then rub gently down your face and back of head and neck several times. Then simply proceed with your normal activities.

Meditation is a cultivation process --- be patient and natural, enjoy each moment, do not "try hard"...just allow and everything will naturally fall-into-place. The biggest blocks to meditation are impatience and expectations. Just continue to repeat the simple process and you Will benefit. Don't wait for or desire "spectacular" results; that is a distracting disturbance...in fact, if you can keep from doing that, THAT is spectacular! Don't be impatient with yourself or disappointed if today's practice wasn't as good as yesterday's practice...that happens! Just rest for a moment...ssshhhh...rest in the stillness and silence, and enjoy!

MEDITATION IS...

• Allowing your mind to be alert and attentive
• Allowing your mind to be calm, concentrated without strain and focused
• Increased awareness of the world around you
• Being in the moment - not worrying about the past or future
• Pleasant
• A process more than a goal...a beautiful, inspiring journey rather than just a destination

BENEFITS

• Decreased stress, tension, depression, anxiety - more balanced emotions
• Strengthened immune system, improved health
• Sense of identity and connection, Improved confidence and concentration
• Peace of mind, optimism and self-worth
• A sense of greater spiritual connection

MEDITATION IS NOT...

• Falling asleep
• Going into a trance
• Shutting yourself off from reality
• Becoming lost in thought and/or forgetting who and where you are

Good source:
http://www.erowid.org/spirit/meditation/meditation_essay1.shtml

Why we need Meditation

With the hectic pace and demands of modern life, many people feel stressed and over-worked. It often feels like there is just not enough time in the day to get everything done. Our stress and tiredness make us unhappy, impatient and frustrated. It can even affect our health. We are often so busy we feel there is no time to stop and meditate! But meditation actually gives you more time by making your mind calmer and more focused. A simple ten or fifteen minute breathing meditation as explained below can help you to overcome your stress and find some inner peace and balance.
Meditation can also help us to understand our own mind. We can learn how to transform our mind from negative to positive, from disturbed to peaceful, from unhappy to happy. Overcoming negative minds and cultivating constructive thoughts is the purpose of the transforming meditations found in the Buddhist tradition. This is a profound spiritual practice you can enjoy throughout the day, not just while seated in meditation.

The purpose of meditation is to make our mind calm and peaceful. If our mind is peaceful, we will be free from worries and mental discomfort, and so we will experience true happiness; but if our mind is not peaceful, we will find it very difficult to be happy, even if we are living in the very best conditions. If we train in meditation, our mind will gradually become more and more peaceful, and we will experience a purer and purer form of happiness. Eventually, we will be able to stay happy all the time, even in the most difficult circumstances.
Usually we find it difficult to control our mind. It seems as if our mind is like a balloon in the wind – blown here and there by external circumstances. If things go well, our mind is happy, but if they go badly, it immediately becomes unhappy. For example, if we get what we want, such as a new possession or a new partner, we become excited and cling to them tightly. However, since we cannot have everything we want, and since we will inevitably be separated from the friends and possessions we currently enjoy, this mental stickiness, or attachment, serves only to cause us pain. On the other hand, if we do not get what we want, or if we lose something that we like, we become despondent or irritated. For example, if we are forced to work with a colleague whom we dislike, we will probably become irritated and feel aggrieved, with the result that we will be unable to work with him or her efficiently and our time at work will become stressful and unrewarding.

Such fluctuations of mood arise because we are too closely involved in the external situation. We are like a child making a sandcastle who is excited when it is first made, but who becomes upset when it is destroyed by the incoming tide. By training in meditation, we create an inner space and clarity that enables us to control our mind regardless of the external circumstances. Gradually we develop mental equilibrium, a balanced mind that is happy all the time, rather than an unbalanced mind that oscillates between the extremes of excitement and despondency.
If we train in meditation systematically, eventually we will be able to eradicate from our mind the delusions that are the causes of all our problems and suffering. In this way, we will come to experience a permanent inner peace, known as “liberation” or “nirvana”. Then, day and night in life after life, we will experience only peace and happiness.

Source how-to-meditate.org