The 8 Commandments of Fighting Fairly | The best myself

Quarreling with your partner doesn’t have to wreck the relationship—in fact, it can actually help. Just follow these expert ground rules. [...] Read more The 8 Commandments of Fighting Fairly | The best myself

This Is Why You Feel So Sad on Sunday (and How to Fix It) | The best myself

Every Sunday around 4 p.m., much of the developed world gives a collective groan. The weekend is fast receding, Monday is fast approaching, and the blues (a legit thing—ask the experts) set in. But you can outsmart them—and keep your mood in weekend mode till the clock strikes midnight—with a few easy strategies. Monday can wait. [...] Read More This Is Why You Feel So Sad on Sunday (and How to Fix It) | The best myself

The Most Proven Technique For Increasing Long Term Happiness

Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep.Write down three things that went well today and why they went well.

You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be earthshaking in importance (“My husband picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today”), but they can be important (“My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy”).

Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?”

For example, if you wrote that your husband picked up ice cream, write “because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes” or “because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store.” Or if you wrote, “My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy,” you might pick as the cause “God was looking out for her” or “She did everything right during her pregnancy.”

Writing about why the positive events in your life happened may seem awkward at first, but please stick with it for one week. It will get easier. The odds are that you will be less depressed, happier, and addicted to this exercise six months from now.

Found here http://time.com/3709747/increasing-long-term-happiness/

25 Signs You are Already Successful and You’re Simply Unaware

Featured photo credit: Adventure man hiking wilderness mountain with backpack, outdoor lifestyle survival vacation via shutterstock.com

We have all had that period in our lives where we feel, regardless of what happens, we simply have nothing positive going for us. It’s easy to criticize yourself in just about anything–from your competence in the workplace to how you deal with situations at home–and this can make it easy to become clouded to our own successes in life.

This kind of constant action and lack of clarity can make it easy to believe that you are a failure, even when all the evidence in your life–personally and professionally–points to other conclusions. If you are too busy in life fighting fires, you’ll likely never make the time to actually appreciate your own success and accomplishments. You could already be successful and just not realize it. Here are some signs that is the case:

1. You aren’t controlled by your income.

Many people feel like they are tied to that next paycheque to make things work for them. If you are able to go day-to-day without the worry that you won’t have enough money to last until the end of the month, then you are most definitely a success! You might not be able to afford a Rolex, but if you aren’t living from week-to-week you are a success.

2. You don’t seek praise.

Seeking praise from loved ones and colleagues is something that we typically grow out of in our teenage years. If you aren’t hanging around waiting to get the proverbial pat on the back at work or at home, you are a more successful individual than you might even know. Being able to do your part without looking for praise is a strong sign of mental security.

3. You suffer less drama.

Look back even just a year in your life: are you finding that things are quieter? At home and at work? If this is the case then you can probably say that your life is pretty successful–a lack of chaos points to order and harmony.

4. You have a plan.

Success is built on structure and having a long-term plan to get to where you want to be. If you actually have a framework to follow in your life to reach your life goals, you are already pretty successful. Most people don’t plan ahead!

5. You crave more.

For someone who might feel like they aren’t doing well very in life, if you tend to look for more from any situation you are already on your way to success. Ambition and a desire for knowledge points to a determined individual who seeks to better themselves.

6. You are an early bird.

You know the old saying. The early bird catches the worm. If you are to make your life a success, you can’t be starting each day in the afternoon. When you find that you are jumping out of bed, ready to attack the day, you can probably point to a successful lifestyle and personality.

7. You are socially active.

Success tends to come in many different ways, not just your rank or your pay packet. If you are able to get involved in many different situations with a variety of social circles you can point to a healthy and harmonious life–people don’t tend to stick around toxic personalities.

8. You offer mutual respect.

Success tends to come from your own experiences in life, including going through stresses and difficulties. If you understand the value of treating others with respect, you already harness one of the most important aspects of success.

9. You wish to help others.

Again, your success in this world goes far beyond the cost of your car. If you are able to provide people with a solid base to work with, and act as a pillar of strength for colleagues, success is not too far off.

10. You are driven.

Anybody without an engine and a willingness to get through the hard times and the difficulties will struggle to succeed. If you don’t mind getting your sleeves rolled up and your hands dirty, you are better off than you think.

11. You possess confidence without arrogance.

The big difference between a successful person and someone who believes they are successful is the way they conduct themselves. If you can show some genuine humility for others, whilst inspiring those who are struggling, you are already a successful individual

12. You have fought back.

We have already touched on how failure can be the point needed to succeed. You need to hit the bottom before you can reach the top. Being able to battle back from a position of failure to success–any success–is a sign of an iron-willed individual with the nous to succeed in life.

13. You strive to improve.

Many people fall into the trap of believing that they “made it”. When you always look to improve on the previous performance, even if it was spectacular, you are setting yourself up to be a long-term success.

14. You have discipline.

Discipline can only come from being a success and seeing how things have gone in the past. Learning how not to make mistakes and how to make the right call is vital to being a long-term success.

15. You preach patience.

Patience is a virtue that the most successful people emit on a large-scale basis. Without patience, it can be hard to ever make the type of impact that you originally intended in any work or personal environment.

16. You can say no.

We spoke earlier about the power of being able to avoid needing to be praised–this is the same ideal. If you are able to say no then you have already avoided the need to please everyone. This is the sign of a successful individual.

17. You manage time well.

Time management is a sign of long-term success, and being able to use the time in any given day to be productive is the sign of a successful person. Capable of dealing with plenty of tasks in any given day? You are already a success.

18. You have successful friends.

Success around you is the easiest way to inspire yourself. If you find yourself surrounded by those who are also doing well it can be easier to actually improve and develop yourself in the right manner.

19. You don’t blame others.

You have reached a point in your life where you fully understand what it means to take ownership of your actions and not target others for your frustrations and failures. That comes about from being active rather than passive, and noticing your inner power to transform your life. It also speaks to your ability to prevent the environment from leading you down a direction you do not desire.

20. You don’t waste your time.

Long gone are the days when you let others drag you along and make you invest your time in activities you deemed boring or even counterproductive to your self-development and self-esteem. Your greater sense of direction empowers you to know what you want without needing other´s approval.

21. You are assertive.

You understand that simply saying yes or no is not enough. Explaining your reasons in a clear manner is essential for others to understand that you are an individual with your own thoughts and needs. This does not mean being inflexible, but while being understanding you should never let anyone bend your way.

22. You stay positive.

You have learnt the hard way that being negative or skeptical to justify your potential defeats and failures does not serve any purpose. Not only it does make you feel unable and anxious, but also does affect the final outcome. By being positive and honest at pursuing your goals you will unleash the true achiever within you.

23. You take care of your health.

Quitting harmful activities that stop you from working towards the brighter future you have always dreamt is a powerful step. Be it smoking, taking drugs, eating too much saturated fats and sugar, or not exercising, you understand that leaving all of those behind will turn you into a stronger individual with greater drive and willpower.

24. You don’t seek a relationship to solve your personal issues.

It is easy to hide our failures behind someone who loves us. But, it is a bit immature for both sides in a relationship to stop tackling the real issues that harm each other’s lives. It is not a good idea to avoid helping the other towards becoming a better person just because it is easier not doing it or because “things are just fine as they are”.

25. You are mature.

When bad situations unfold in the workplace, or you need to deal with the individual who you have a problem with. A sign of success is being able to put personal grievances to the side for professional gain.

It’s always important to remind yourself that success isn’t something that can be judged so materially. If you are able to look at your lifestyle and understand that you do things in a mature, social and effective manner then you are already far more successful than any slap on the back will ever make you feel.

Success comes from acceptance of your own skills and abilities, not what somebody you might never have met before tells you.

Found here

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/25-signs-you-are-already-successful-and-youre-simply-unaware.html

When Someone You Love Is Having a Tough Time, Remind Them of These 20 Things

If someone you love is having a tough time right now, there are some things that you can remind them of which will help them trough their difficulties. Whatever you say to someone who is struggling, the most important thing is to ensure your tone of voice and demeanor is appropriate. Remind your loved one of the following things in a warm, encouraging way, and not in a “pull your socks up” way. Your approach will make all the difference to the response you get.

1. It’s OK Not to Be OK

When people are struggling, they often make themselves feel worse by placing unrealistic expectations on themselves. They beat themselves up for having a problem and feeling unable to cope with it. Remind your loved one that they are no less of a person just because they are facing something challenging right now. You love them and will support them in good times and bad.

2. You’re Not Alone

Identifying with the person who is struggling can help them feel better. They realize, then, that they are not bearing the weight of the world alone. Remind them that others have had this problem, and that they already have found a way through it. Just knowing that they are not alone can help them feel less lonely and more hopeful. Encourage your loved one to join a support group or forum if appropriate.

3. Let Go of Blame

Sometimes when people are struggling, they either want to blame themselves or other people for their circumstances. It’s OK to initially express anger and frustration, but wallowing in feelings of unfairness or blame will make them feel worse and wastes their energy. Help your loved one to see that the way out their difficulties is in looking for solutions and not in assigning blame or hanging onto angry feelings.

4. Struggles Make You Stronger

Wisdom, strength and resilience can all be built from the foundations of tough times. Help your loved one to see how they’re growing as a person, even if they feel like they’re going through hell. It’s so important not to be glib  or patronizing when you’re saying this ‒ actually tell your loved one the new strengths you see in them.

5. Take a Step Back

People going through tough times often lose perspective, because they feel so mired in the problem itself. Reminding someone to step back from the situation can help them to see things in a fresh light, and will help them find new solutions.

6. Nothing Lasts Forever

The terrible thing about really tough times is that they feel like they will go on forever. But, in reality, nothing lasts forever ‒ not even the most horrible emotions or the direst circumstances. Reminding your loved one of this can help them gain perspective and feel comforted at the same time.

7. Take Things Step By Step

Tough times can often bring complex and confusing feelings, and those who are struggling may feel paralyzed and unable to make decisions. Remind them that they don’t have to solve the whole problem at once. If they just do the next right thing, they will start to make progress.

8. Look For The Open Door

When life shuts one door, another one will always open. Losing something will always lead to new opportunities, but only if you are open to them. Remind your loved one to stay alert to fresh opportunities and solutions.

9. Just Do Your Best

People who are struggling can put so much pressure on themselves to get things right that they feel even more upset when they don’t meet their own unrealistic expectations. Remind them that as long as they just do their best, that’s all that matters. They are human, after all. Their best is good enough.

10. You’ve Come Through Tough Times Before

If someone you love is having a hard time, it may be difficult for them to see their strengths. Reminding them that they have already survived tough times before can show them that there is an end in sight, and that they have the strength to reach it.

11. You’re Brave

Most people who are struggling refuse to acknowledge how strong and brave they actually are. They may see themselves as weak and scared. Remind them that courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the willingness to go on even when you’re afraid.

12. There Is Something Good in Each Day

Going through difficulties can lead to a negative mindset. If someone is really going through a desperately hard time, and dealing with something like depression, being all happy-clappy with them won’t work. But do ask them about the good things in their life, what has gone well, and what they have achieved. It will help them to see a glimmer of hope, even in the darkness.

13. Look at What You’re Gaining

Even when someone has a difficult problem, there will always be an upside to it. Whether it’s finding out who their true friends are when they’re struggling, or having the opportunity to develop patience, strength and problem-solving abilities, there will always be a silver lining. Help your loved one to find it.

14. It’s Not Your Fault

Sometimes when people are struggling, they take their problems very personally, almost believing that their difficulties are sent in some way to punish them. If your loved one is doing this, reminding them that it’s not their fault can help them feel relieved.

15. Well Done

Validating someone for their efforts when they’re having a miserable time can make a big difference in their day. If someone is struggling, they may not acknowledge their own hard work. Giving them praise can help them feel rewarded and appreciated..

16. Focus on Now

Often people make their tough times even tougher by worrying about the future or fretting about the past. They may add to their misery by letting themselves think back to all the times life has treated them badly or that they’ve failed before; or they may fear that their current difficulty will lead to yet more problems. Remind them to focus on now, because that’s the only part of the story they can change at the moment.

17. Nothing Is Ever the End of the World

Very few problems, however big or small, can actually stop you from breathing. You can encourage your loved one by reminding them that everything is survivable and beatable. They will find a way of dealing with this issue, however tough, if only they keep trying.

18. Be Kind To Yourself

When someone is going through a hard time, they may feel so frustrated by their problems that they resort to beating themselves up or not allowing themselves a minute of reprieve from the issue. Remind your loved one that tough times are easier when we’re kind to ourselves. They are allowed “time off” from their problem to have a laugh, treat themselves, and be around good people. Relieving stress can actually help them to come back to the problem refreshed and recharged.

19. People Want to Help

If your loved one is suffering, they may believe that they have to go through it all by themselves. They may not want to burden others with their problems, and won’t want to ask for help. Remind them that most people are amenable to helping; in fact, helping feels good. The reason people have different strengths is precisely so that they can help each other. Encourage your loved one to seek extra help should they need it.

20. I’m There For You

The strength of these words can not be underestimated. Letting your loved one know that you’re there for them, and that you will listen to their feelings, dry their tears, or even just be around, can mean everything to someone going through hell. Just being a non-judgmental, caring presence in your loved one’s life can make a massive difference in how they feel and how they cope.

Found on http://www.lifehack.org/

10 Habits of Really Happy Couples

It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care, but it’s not as daunting of a task as it may seem. There’s no real “secret” to having a happy relationship, but there are things you can do to make it all come more easily. Try to integrate these habits into your daily life and see how much happier your relationship can be.

1. Go to bed at the same time.

I used to think it was silly to want to go to bed at the same time as my partner, but it does wonders for your relationship! If one of us stays up later than the other, our whole evening feels off. There’s something cozy about sliding under the covers together, talking about what happened during the day or what’s on the list for tomorrow. My fiancé works the night shift, and without realizing it, my schedule also changed until I was a night owl, doing my freelance work during the late hours while he was at his job. When he came home early in the morning, I’d go to bed with him just to get that connection you can only get from sleeping and waking up together.

2. Cultivate common interests.

It’s important to keep your own hobbies when you’re part of a couple, of course, because you want to stay true to yourself and not change your personality. But you and your partner can cultivate common interests without changing who either of you are, and it will make your relationship stronger as a result. I love reading and writing, which are typically solitary hobbies, but my fiancé doesn’t hesitate to grab a book and sit next to me on the couch, or he’ll write a story too, and we can give each other feedback. He loves painting, and I can hardly draw a stick figure, but when he asks me to help him with a painting, I love to try and do my best with bright streaks of color. As a result, we’ve both found that it doesn’t matter what you do together (or in the case of my painting attempts, how well you do it), just that you’re doing enjoyable things together.

3. Walk hand in hand.

My hatred of hand-holding started in elementary school, when you had to hold hands with a buddy so you wouldn’t get lost on a field trip. Since then, I’ve never held hands with anyone and not gotten immediately sweaty palms. It’s one of the worst feelings! With my partner, though, I love holding hands. It makes me feel so happy and connected to him just to hold hands as we walk through the neighborhood, or even around the grocery store. Even if we don’t hold hands, we keep pace and walk side by side. I find that more often than not, my hand either finds his, or I slide my arm around his waist. There’s something really nice about walking perfectly in step with your partner.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.

It’s so easy to fight about stupid nothings and hold a grudge, but that’s not the way to be happy in a relationship. You have to forgive your partner after a fight, even if it’s something major. You might feel like they’ve betrayed your trust, but if you don’t give them another chance, then your relationship can never feel natural again. There will always be a rift because you don’t trust your partner, and feel like any time your back is turned, they’ll be doing something hurtful. On the other side, your partner won’t feel loved in the relationship because they’ll have never gotten your full forgiveness. Let your heart love easier by truly forgiving and honestly trusting your partner.

5. Focus on what your partner does right, not wrong.

No one likes a nit-pick! Don’t chastise your partner every time you think they do something wrong. There are nice ways to inform someone if they hurt your feelings, or to correct them if they do something in a bad way. But instead of yelling at your partner for breaking a plate, thank them for washing the dishes for you—hey, soap makes things slippery! Your partner will appreciate that you’re seeing the positive things they’re bringing to the relationship, and being more positive and complimentary will make you feel better than being negative all the time.

6. Hug each other when you see each other after work.

This one is easy—who doesn’t want to melt into a comforting hug after a hard day? And if you had a good day, share your excitement with a hug. You can’t beat ‘em. And once you start hugging, you’ll feel so much happier that you’ll find it easier to make time to cuddle with your partner instead of getting stressed by the things you need to get done around the house.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning.

Another easy tip! Saying sweet words to each other is never a waste of breath. My fiancé and I say “I love you” any time we part—whether it’s on the phone, when he leaves for work, when I run an errand. It makes you feel much happier, and is always a good note to end on when you go about your days.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.

Same with “Have a good day,” saying “Good night” when you and your partner go to bed puts a nice, loving haze on the end of the day. My fiancé and I have a nightly routine we say before falling asleep. I won’t reveal it here because it’s special to us, but it includes “Good night,” “I love you,” and other nice phrases that make you feel good and inspire sweet dreams!

9. Do a “weather” check during the day.

A “weather” check is where you call your partner during the day to see how they are. A caring phone call or text can really brighten their day and show them that you’re thinking of them. As an added bonus, it gives you a heads up about how their day is going. If they’re having a tough time, you can curb your happiness about a work promotion and be more sympathetic as soon as you get home. You can tailor your attitude to make them feel that much better when you both get home.

10. Be grateful for what you have.

This is the simplest tip of all, because if you’re in a relationship, you clearly value your partner. Be thankful that you have someone you love who loves you back. Be thankful that they help you with household chores and support you during tough times and cheer you on during the good times. Look at your partner as much as you can and just smile that you have them by your side.


Found here http://www.lifehack.org/

30 Simple Secrets to Get Happy Instantly

It is said that happiness is a state of mind. Why is it really necessary for us to stay happy most of the time?

Staying happy not only makes you feel better; it also helps you to find the good in people and in life. It generates an aura of positivity around you. Naturally, others are drawn to you and wish for your company. Also, when you are happy, your body produces endorphins and other chemicals that help your body repair and heal on its own. Isn’t that cool? And to be happy, you need not do grand stuff.

Life offers us small pleasures all the time. We just need to spot them.

Here are some simple ways to get happy instantly.

1. Smile.

It is the best and simplest way to get happy instantly. It does not cost you anything and helps relieve stress and anxiety. Whenever your mood hits a low, flaunt your killer smile!

2. Think about your loved one.

Nothing is more soothing than thinking about your beloved. It automatically puts a smile on your face and makes you happier within seconds.

3. Sing a song.

Although it may seem funny if you are in office, go out on the terrace and sing loudly.

4. Meditate.

Wherever you are, if you feel low, close your eyes. Start deeply breathing, i.e. inhaling and exhaling slowly; try calming down your mind. Think about good memories that you have experienced.

5. Walk barefoot on green grass.

This is a unique pleasure in and of itself. The tickling sensation of the soft grass beneath our feet diverts us from the daily monotony and freshens up our mind. If you happen to be near a garden when feeling low, do this. It will surely make you happy instantly.

6. Unplug.

Take a break from all sorts of social media. Sometimes, it’s really exhausting trying to pretend that you have a perfect life, especially in front of people who are just on your friend list and don’t even know the real, unique you. Being different or having flaws is perfectly normal. Accept your life the way it is and improve it; make each moment count!

7. Compliment others.

Have you always wanted to tell someone that they are very well dressed or cool or good looking? You should definitely pass on a genuine compliment. You’ll be instantly happy once you see the other person glow.

8. Declutter.

Sometimes your mood is instantly lifted the moment you rearrange your space, be it in the cupboard or shelves. It helps shed off monotonous surroundings.

9. Try something new.

Have you always wanted to learn some type of dance form or how to play an instrument, but didn’t get a chance to do so? Perhaps you want to learn a new form of art or another language. Spontaneously enroll yourself for such a course. See how instantly your mood is lifted.

10. Plan a small reunion with your pals.

It’s true that everybody has a busy schedule nowadays. Break free and plan a random reunion with your buddies. The joy we feel after meeting them is simply awesome!

11. Get nostalgic.

The joy of flipping through old pictures is just incomparable, be it your childhood pictures or your marriage or even your kid’s childhood snaps.

12. Watch funny stuff.

Timeless comedies like Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, and Tom and Jerry will instantly restore your mood and make you feel delightful.

13. Do good deeds.

Do at least one good deed daily and see how blissful you feel. It could be any simple thing, such as helping an old person cross the street or helping some poor kids by buying their books, teaching someone or sponsoring their education or donating funds to the needy. I bet you will feel really happy after helping someone.

14. Know that it’s going to be OK.

Life isn’t meant too be taken very seriously. Enjoy it to the fullest. Explore new things in your lifetime—stuff you really love doing. Take chances; fall in love. Get to know your neighbors. Help society in whatever way possible. Make someone’s day. Challenge yourself and dare to try life instead of feeling helpless in any situation. You’ll be a happier person indeed.

15. Read interesting books.

Pick up any book you love. This world is full of interesting facts and mysteries. Read about them. You will know things many people don’t know. Having that extra edge over others will surely make you smile. I am talking about healthy competition here.

16. Change your route.

If you have been take the same road for multiple years to reach your office, home, or college, change the route. Change could uplift your mood and make you happier.

17. Inhale your favorite scent.

Inhaling your favorite scent calms down your mind, de-stresses you, and makes you happier.

18. Hold gratitude.

There are several good people in our life who have helped us through our ups and downs. Express your gratitude to them. Not only does it show that you are a good human; it also helps you acknowledge their efforts of helping you.

19. Watch the sunrise or sunset.

Depending what time of the day it is, spare some time to view nature’s beauty. This helps us realize how wonderful our earth is!

20. Live in the present.

Learn to enjoy every moment of life because today’s deeds will determine our future. Don’t get stressed by unpleasant situations. If they don’t matter few years from now, they really don’t matter at all!

21. Call an old friend.

The joy of calling up an old friend and reviving some of the memories is a good way of instantly lifting our mood and becoming happy.

22. Take charge of your life.

Tired or fed up with your current job or course? Change it! Do everything and anything your heart desires. Take small steps in the right direction instead of taking giant footsteps in the wrong direction. At the end of the day, your happiness matters the most!

23. Feel the fresh air.

Go for a walk outdoors and feel the fresh air. It will cheer you up instantly.

24. Maximum family time.

Spending maximum time with our family is one of the best ways to keep ourselves happy. Our family selflessly accepts us for who we are.

Show them that you care. Be grateful. Small, simple gestures keep us happy.

25. Play any sport.

Playing sports not only helps us maintain our fitness; it also helps us to remain cheerful. Playing relieves our stress.

26. Thought to remember.

“This moment is not permanent in life.” Read this line whenever you’re happy, angry, sad, upset, cheated or lonely. It will surely help relieve anxiety.

27. Hobbies.

Work on any of your favorite hobbies and see the difference in your mood! It could be hiking, reading, watching a movie, or absolutely anything that makes you smile!

28. Go for a holiday.

Plan something even if you are currently sitting in the office. It could be a short or a long vacation.

The prospect of chilling out with our beloved makes us smile instantly!

29. Express yourself.

We are humans and we really need to speak to someone about our problems or write them down in our personal diary.

Just express yourself and feel content.

30. Feel blessed.

No matter who you are, you are privileged in a variety of ways. Perhaps you were born to a well-to-do family or into a safe family environment. Maybe you have awesome parents who have been there for you your whole life, who have been supportive of your life decisions.

Maybe you have great friends who are always around, ready to help whenever needed. Maybe you’ve never gone to bed hungry due to financial problems.

Acknowledge the ways in which life has been generous to you. We cannot even imagine how difficult it must be to live the lives people lead in some parts of the world, under the threat of poverty, diseases, and terrorism.

Feel blessed; stay blessed. :)

Source http://www.lifehack.org/

Advice for People in Their Twenties

I found this list on the Internet. And loved it. It is simple and driven by care of elders towards youngsters. Maybe worth to read and remember it. Please share with those in their 20s you love most.

1. Find three hobbies you love: one to make you money, one to keep you in shape, and one to be creative.

2. Getting a degree matters, but getting the right degree matters even more.

3. Leave every job you have on good terms. Do not burn your bridges.

4. See the world while you still don’t have a ton of responsibilities.

5. Don’t live on the Internet. Go out and experience real life.

6. Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now. 

7. Read. A lot. 

8. Dress to impress. 

9. Never pinch pennies on brakes or tires.

10. Never stop learning

11. Marry someone you consider your best friend.

12. All adventures in life start by just showing up.

13. Drama is never worth putting up with.

14. Value experiences over possessions.

15. Drive slow in bad weather.

16. Money comes and goes. Time just goes.

17. Don’t judge yourself on your intentions but your actions.

18. Always make new mistakes.

19. Don’t rely on other people to make you happy.

20. Bite less; chew more.

The Shift From Ambition To Meaning - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Movie

You can enjoy this video here. I found it published on Youtube. But the very best you can do is to buy your copy and enjoy it in your language whenever available, because the messages in this video are thousands and every single one can change your life forever.

To buy this movie: http://www.dyermovie.com/

Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting, but never hit soft.

Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting, but never hit soft. / Theodore Roosevelt

Fulfill your dreams in 2014

Watch this video containing the best motivation and inspiration you can source from.

Loving starts with me

If you don't love yourself nobody else will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the Self. [Dr. Wayne W. Dyer]

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You do not cry for LOVE

You do not cry for Love. You cry only because you are feeling its absence. Stop crying and fill your heart with joy, thus Love will never be so far.

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True Love is Invincible because it's real

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Fearful symmetry: Roger Penrose’s tiling

The Penrose tiling’s almost-perfect “forbidden symmetry”

Roger Penrose makes his own rules. He is one of the world’s most distinguished mathematical physicists and most inventive thinkers. Penrose’s work on the theory of general relativity in the 1960s led to the discovery that the gravity of collapsing stars can produce black-hole “singularities” in space-time. This, in turn, set Stephen Hawking on his course to rewrite black-hole physics. The research established Penrose’s name in science, but his thought continued to range much further. In The Emperor’s New Mind (1989) he proposed that the human mind can handle problems that are “non-computable,” which is to say that any computer trying to solve them by executing a set of logical rules (as all computers do) would chunter away forever without reaching a conclusion. This property of the mind, Penrose argued, might stem from the brain’s use of a quantum-mechanical principle, perhaps involving quantum gravity. In collaboration with anaesthetist Stuart Hameroff, he suggested in Shadows of the Mind (1994) what that principle might be, involving quantum behaviour in protein filaments called microtubules in neurons. Neuroscientists scoffed, glazed over, or muttered “Oh, physicists…”

So when I remarked that he is known for ideas that most others couldn’t even imagine, let alone dare voice, introducing a talk by Penrose yesterday, I didn’t expect that I would hear new ones that evening. Penrose was speaking about the discovery for which he is perhaps best known among the public: the so-called Penrose tiling, a pair of rhombus-shaped tiles that can be used to tile a flat surface ad infinitum without the pattern ever repeating itself. It turns out that this pattern is peppered with objects that have five- or ten-fold symmetry; like a pentagon, they superimpose on themselves when rotated a fifth of a full turn. That is very strange, because fivefold symmetry is known to be rigorously forbidden for any two-dimensional packing of shapes. (Try it with ordinary pentagons and you quickly find that you get lots of gaps). The Penrose tiling doesn’t have this “forbidden symmetry” in a perfect form, but it almost does.

These tilings – there are other shapes that have an equivalent result – are strikingly beautiful, with a mixture of regularity and disorder that is somehow pleasing to the eye. This is doubtless why, as Penrose explained, many architects have made use of them. But they also have a deeper significance. After Penrose described the tiling in the 1970s, the crystallographer Alan Mackay – one of the unsung polymathic savants of British science – showed in 1981 that if you imagine putting atoms at the corners of the tiles and bouncing X-rays off them, you can get a pattern of reflections that looks like that of a perfect crystal with the forbidden five- and tenfold symmetries. Four years later, such a material was found in the real world by the Israeli materials scientist Daniel Shechtman and his coworkers. This was dubbed a quasicrystal, and the discovery won Shechtman the 2011 Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Penrose tilings can explain how quasicrystals attain their “impossible” structure.

Roger Penrose on his tiling in the foyer of the
Mitchell Institute for Fundamental Physics and
Astronomy at Texas A&M University

In his talk Penrose explained the richness of these tilings, manipulating transparencies like a prestidigitator in ways that elicited several gasps of delight as new patterns suddenly came into view. But it was in the Q&A session that we got a glimpse of Penrose’s wildly lateral thinking. Assembling a tiling is a very delicate business, because if you add a tile in the wrong place or orientation, somewhere further down the line the pattern fouls up. But how could atoms in a quasicrystal know that they have to come together in a certain way here to avoid a problem right over there? Maybe, Penrose said, they make use of entanglement, the bizarre quantum-mechanical property that foxed Einstein, in which two particles can affect one another instantaneously over any distance. Crikey.

In Penrose’s mind it all links up: quasicrystals, non-computable problems, the universe… You can use these tiles, he said, to represent the rules of how things interact in a hypothetical universe in which everything is non-computable: the rules are well defined, but you can never use them to predict what is going to happen until it actually happens. But my favourite anecdote is of Penrose inspecting a new tiling being laid out on the concourse of some university. Looking it over, he felt uneasy. Eventually he saw why: the builders, seeing an empty space at the edge of the tiling, had stuck another tile there that didn’t respect the proper rules for their assembly. No one else would have noticed, but Penrose saw that what it meant was that “the tiling would go wrong somewhere in the middle of the lawn.” Not that it was ever going to reach that far – but it was a flaw in that hypothetical continuation, that imaginary universe, and for a mathematician that wouldn’t do. 

From an article of Mr Philip Ball you can find here http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/ball/fearful-symmetry-roger-penroses-tiling

I'll be the shore

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Simple Ways to Sleep a Lot Better at Night

(photo courtesy flickr user Kevin Hutchinson)

If you sleep like a baby – meaning you wake up crying every two hours – forget the Ambien and warm milk. Take steps to eliminate the stress and anxiety that keeps you awake.

Try a few of these:

1. Step back from one thing you really care about... but have no ability to impact.

For some people it's politics. For others it's family. For others it's global warming. You care -- and you desperately want others to care.

Fine. Do what you can: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change… but don't try to make everyone else change.

They won't – unless they decide to on their own.

2. Stay out of other people's business.

Help. Offer guidance. Encourage. Motivate.

But don't gossip. Don't get mixed up in politics. It always ends badly. Never put yourself in a position where you're worried that Phil will tell Allen you said something snarky about Stu and... (yeah, it’s a “Hangover” reference.)

3. Set up automatic warning systems.

The larger your scope of responsibility – professional or personal – the more you have to worry about. Your list of concerns is endless. You're always on edge, especially at night. So you check your email. You text and call to make sure everything is OK.

The fear of the unknown drives you crazy.

Instead of worrying about what you don't know, make sure you do know. Decide what you need to know when and set up systems to support you. Let your employees know what constitutes an emergency -- and, just as importantly, what doesn't. Create automated systems that notify you of problems.

A friend runs a 1,200-employee manufacturing plant. He has a separate phone for emergencies: Employees call that phone or send emails to emergency@. He turns off his regular phone at night and sleeps soundly, because he knows if something happens, he'll know. He won't have to check.

Determine what you need to know and create systems to ensure you will know. Then you won't have to waste time and energy worrying about the unknown.

4. Be grateful for criticism.

When you get feedback, at least someone cares enough to want you to improve: Your product, your service, your work, your life…. You only need to worry when no one cares enough to criticize you.

Criticism creates an opportunity. Embrace that opportunity.

5. Write it all down.

David Allen, the author of Getting Things Done, told me this:

Most people try to use their psyche as their systemic process, which means issues gain importance based on your emotions. I've never met anyone who said they didn't feel a little better if they sat down and made a list. Nothing changes when you write things down except how you engage with your issues: You can be objective and also be creative and intuitive.

Your head is for having ideas, not holding ideas, and it's certainly not for filing things away. Without exception you will feel better if you get stuff out of your head.

Try it. Write down your challenges. List your problems or concerns.

I bet you'll start to feel better right away. You'll realize things aren't as bad as you think. You'll also start to figure out ways to make things better -- because now you won't worry passively. You'll actively solve your problems.

6. Lay off the conspiracy theories.

No one is out to get you. Even if people are, they're really not the problem – most of us do a better job sabotaging ourselves than someone else ever could. Besides, you can't control what other people might do.

But you can control what you will do.

7. Reduce the number of judgment calls.

The more prepared you are to handle a situation, the easier it is to be objective -- and to avoid stressing out later over whether or not you made the wrong call.

Create price lists that take into account unusual requests. Set up guidelines for responding to customer complaints. Create employee policies for objective areas like attendance, quality, and performance. Decide what you will and will not allow your kids to do before they start asking.

Think about situations you struggle with and decide what you will do before those situations get stressful or confrontational. Then you can make better decisions and greatly reduce your level of stress… and regret.

8. Create a cutoff time...

Yeah, I know, you consider yourself a 24/7 go-getter. But that's impossible. Decide what time you'll stop working each day, no matter what.

And if stopping makes you feel guilty?

9. ...Then create a plan for tomorrow.

Write down what you need to do first thing tomorrow. You'll rest easier knowing you have a plan to take care of what you didn't get done today.

10. Spend a few minutes every day getting better at something else.

It doesn't matter what you pick. Just make sure it's not business: A musical instrument. A foreign language. A hobby. Whatever it is, spend a little time on it. Get a little better.

Step outside your daily grind and do something for yourself.

In the process, you'll gain a little perspective. Perspective soothes the soul.

11. Count your blessings.

Take a second before you turn out the light. In that moment, quit worrying about what you don't have. Quit worrying about what others have that you don't.

Think about what you do have.

Thought so. You have a lot to be thankful for.

Feels pretty good, doesn't it? Feeling better about yourself is the best sleeping pill of all.

found here http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131031120051-20017018-simple-ways-to-sleep-a-lot-better-at-night

How to Win Loyalty From Other People

If you aspire to be successful as an entrepreneur, manager, business owner, or any kind of leader, others must feel loyal to you. Although money is often seen as a prime motivator, ultimately the bonds that hold an enterprise together are psychological. Important data gathered by the indicate that loyalty is one of the top three things that make workers feel satisfied.

Loyalty balances self-interest. It is the willingness to look out for "us" and not just "me." It's no secret that the bond of loyalty has frayed at a time of layoffs and the loss of pensions and benefits in the economy. A public image has been built of opposition between management and labor - there is nothing new here - where the advantage has shifted overwhelmingly to management. As long as profits continue to roll in, loyalty is ignored. The assumption is that workers are too desperate for a job to complain or protest.

You have a choice to make in the face of this sad situation. Are you going to join the trend and forget loyalty or are you going to try and rebuild it? The question doesn't apply simply to managers. Companies develop an atmosphere and a culture. No one works in a vacuum, and your attitude affects the environment you work in, no matter where you fit into the overall scheme.

If you choose to help rebuild loyalty, here are some suggestions:

1. Abstain from disloyalty, which shows up in small but telling ways. Office gossip, back-biting, and spreading rumors show disloyalty, because they degrade the sense of bonding and cooperation.

2. Work on bonding and cooperation. Be sympathetic and open to the people you work with. Support projects that are good for everyone, even if you don't gain immediate material rewards.

3. Honor the difference between rivals and competitors. The fact that you are competing against others at work doesn't make them your rivals. Rivalry is hostile; it implies that only one person can win. Competition raises the bar for everyone, so that the whole team can win.

4. Pay attention to personal details. Loyalty runs deep when a person feels cared for and understood. Be alert to these needs. Make an effort to include everyone. When ideas and suggestions are being discussed, make it clear that every suggestion is welcome. If someone's pet idea is rejected, take time to go to them afterwards and listen respectfully to what lies behind the idea.

5. Share your success. Include your team in the praise and appreciation that comes your way. If possible, make a tangible gesture, as appropriate - throw a party, or other form of celebration, offer bonuses, present a gift as a token of recognition.

6. Don't keep secrets. As much as possible, make the decision-making process transparent. Open up financial details. In the economic downturn of 2008, some small businesses shared their finances with their workers and thereby won real loyalty. Seeing that the company was strapped, the workers felt an incentive to be part of the solution. This is just one way to close the gap that makes management and workers adversaries, a stance that severely erodes loyalty.

7. Remind yourself every day that there is no "I" without "we." This allows you to be humble in your successes and provides a community to get through crises.

(From the original text of Mr. Deepak Chopra MD )

Reboot your life: 20 mental barriers you should let go of

You are in an imaginary hot air balloon. It’s just you and all of your belongings in the wicker basket. Something went wrong and you are losing altitude fast. You will hit the ground in less than ten minutes if you don’t come up with something quick.

The only immediate solution is to get rid of excess weight and throw off at least half of your belongings. It’s that or hit the ground in ten. You look at the things and hesitate for a few seconds but then you do what you have to do and start throwing the things you have gathered half your life one by one. The cargo gets lighter, the descent slows down then you are floating up again back to altitude. You are relieved beyond comprehension.

This happens to all of us in less dramatic circumstances. We attach ourselves to things that we have accumulated over the years. Some of them might have some practical value. Others we just have attached ourselves sentimentally to over time. Some others are just clutter.

Our mental life follows the same fate. We carry with us a lot of things in our heads along the years – Our life story, emotional attachments, beliefs and other things which can linger in our minds for many years.

Some of them are useless ideas that drag us down considerably. Some are emotional debris from difficult moments in our past. Some are just beliefs which we have attached ourselves to for no apparent justifiable reason. Some others are just self-destructive habits and fears.

So if you were in the hot air balloon situation, which of these mental barriers should we let go? I have listed down 20 here. Do you have any more?

1. Let go of attachments

According to Buddhist Philosophy, attachment is one of the roots of all suffering. I can’t agree more. We attach ourselves to all sorts of things even the most self-slapping stupid notions in the universe. Are you attached to something? How much are you attached? Is it keeping you back from something? Is it making you suffer? Look at it straight through – break the illusion. Know that every attachment can be detached.

2. Let go of guilt

Guilt has absolutely no function whatsoever. Think about it – what could guilt possibly resolve? It just holds you imprisoned to self-mortification and sorrow.

3. Let go of Negative thinking

Pessimistic thoughts and negative attitudes keep you locked in a dark aura that permeates in everything you do. It’s a dangerous line to follow. Know that thoughts influence the world around us. Enough said.

4. Let go of self-criticism

Many times we are our biggest pain in the neck. We criticize ourselves with the best of intentions but then go over the acceptable limit. Criticism then turns to disempowering messages. Let go of it and be kind and gentle to yourself.

5. Let go of prejudice

Prejudice keeps you bitter and resentful. It restricts your opportunities to connect meaningfully with others.

6. Let go of compulsive thinking

Do you keep on doing something just because you feel you have to do it without any apparent reason? It’s time to honestly reflect on its usefulness and its side-effects.

7. Let go of the need for others’ approval

We often tend to seek approval by others. This is an attention-seeking behaviour and one which threatens our self-confidence and authenticity.

8. Let go of limiting beliefs

Most of our limits are self-imposed. Life doesn’t have defined limits. Our beliefs do. Learn to identify those beliefs which narrow down your possibilities for action and let go of them.

9. Let go of grudges

Let me put it this way – grudges are bad for your heart. Keep them long enough or numerous enough and your health will eventually suffer. Research is showing the relationship between heart disease and emotions such as anger and grudges.

10. Let go of postponing

This is a delaying tactic of your subconscious saboteur trying to keep you from accomplishing important tasks. Try to be aware of it when you think it and consciously push yourself to do at least the first part of it. Naturally you will then continue the whole task because the hard part is only the beginning.

11. Let go of anxious thoughts

These are born out of our fear of the unknown and uncertainty about the future. The thought that something unpleasant may happen is only an unreal thought we have created ourselves. Ask yourself: “Is this thought based on real evidence?”

12. Let go of past heartbreaks

A heartbreak can take quite a long time to heal. Your heart is locked as your mind keeps on hovering over the same thought. The thing to realize is that in heartbreaks it is not the loss that make you suffer but the idea you create in your heads about that loss.

13. Let go of bad memories

Sometimes we remember unpleasant things that stir up some sad feelings in us. Bad memories make you relive those sad moments in the present. Keep them where they are – in the past.

14. Let go of useless things

We also attach ourselves to things of all sort. Sometimes we clutter our life with useless objects. Let go of them and simplify your working and living environment.

15. Let go of bad company

If there are people around you that are insincere, harbour envy, are highly pessimistic or disempowering, keep away from them.

16. Let go of the idea that you are a product of your past

One very common mistake we fall into is the belief that we are determined by our past experiences. This limits our view on future possibilities since we are stuck in believing that the future can only be more of the same as our past.

17. Let go of identifying yourself with your job/role

This is one of the risks of modern day life. Since roles are always becoming more specialized we think that we are part of our roles. This makes us lose perspective of our true nature.

18. Let go of counterproductive habits

These are the repetitive patterns of behavior that obstruct or distract you from constructive and productive behavior. They can be anything from watching too much TV and overeating to self-destructive behavior such as drug abuse.

19. Let go of taking things too personally

Very often we are disturbed emotionally because we interpret people’s words and actions from a very subjective perspective. When we take things personally we get irritated, hurt and disappointed.  When you look at life from a more detached and objective point of view, we stay emotionally balanced and focused on our priorities.

20. Let go of the ticking clock

Time is one of our biggest sources of stress. Well, not time really but our perception of it. Sometimes we are enslaved by the concept of time even in our moments of leisure. This has devoured a lot of our genuine freedom and space. Learning to spend moments without the constant awareness of time can be liberating and finally productive.

After reading all these points you are certainly thinking that these are very simple and maybe even "stupid" things we hand around every day.

But you also certainly know that when you are keeping one of the above behavours or attitudes, you are doing WRONG. If you feel it, then trust yourself enough and STOP doing it. It will be easier and easier the more attention you make to your feeling in doing things.

Here is a track you can print and read from time to time, to secure your constant will to stick to a healthier behaviour and attitude.

Found here

soulhiker.com/2009/10/reboot-your-life-20-mental-barriers-you-should-let-go-off/

You can only lose what you cling to

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